The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.
Napoleon Hill
Officer: Do you know why I stopped you, son?
Driver: Cause you thought I had some doughnuts?
The mystery of death
Death is something that can't be explained. We are each owed a death, at
which time it will come or where is a mystery. Live each day as if it were
your last. Make amends with those you crossed or who crossed you. Tell
that special one in your life that you love them. Smile at passers by.
Help someone in need.
+ General JokeNow that Vancouver has opened the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!! These questions about Canada were posted on an International tourism Website. Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden) A: So its true what they say about Swedes. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed beaver. (Italy) A: Let's not touch this one. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton, and Halifax? (UK) A: We still use Beaver pelts. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North. Oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked. Q: Which direction is north in Canada? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
A farmer walks into a lawyer's office and says: "I'd like to get one of them-thar day-vorce-ees" "Yes sir, I believe I can help you" replied the lawyer. "Do you have any grounds?" "Oh shore do!", exclaimed the farmer, "Got me bout a 140 acres out back a the house thar." "No no..., I mean do you have a case?" asked the lawyer. "No sur," replied the farmer, "I drive one of them John Deer's" "You don't understand," said the lawyer, "You need something like a grudge." "Oh!!" said the farmer, "I got me one of those! That's what I park muh Deer in!" The lawyer, a bit frustrated responded, "Sir, you've got to have a reason to divorce your wife. Does she beat you up or anything?" "No sur", replied the farmer, "I purt near get outta bed afore her ever mornin." Finally the exasperated lawyer shouted, "WHY do you want a divorce?" "Oh, well..." replied the farmer, "She says we jus can't communicate!!"
Three Enemies
There are three enemies of personal peace regret over yesterday's mistakes, anxiety over tomorrow’s problems and ingratitude for today's blessing.
n: Excuse me Miss, but were you born in Tennessee?
Woman: No, why?
Man: Because your the only ten-I-see!
Customer Service
Customer service is not a cost
-it is an Investment (said by John Frazer-Robinson)
A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had hit virtually head-on.
One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating, "He wouldn't let me have my half of the road!"
After gathering as much information as possible, he angrily approached the other driver, who was examining his own damage. The police officer asked, "That old lady says that you wouldn't let her have her half of the road. Why not?
In exasperation, the man turns from his smashed car and says, "Officer, I would have been HAPPY to give her half of the road --- if she had just let me know WHICH half she wanted!!!!"
Laughter is indeed the best medicine
The old adage has been backed up by a recent study. Findings show that people with a good sense of humor and a propensity to laugh may be less likely to develop heart disease when compared to aggressive, antisocial personalities.
So go ahead, laugh and make others laugh.
A psychiatrist's secretary walks into his study and says,
"There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you.
Claims he's invisible."
The psychiatrist responds, "Tell him I can't see him."
Don't Fret
From the very moment we were born, we were dying. So why sweat the small stuff? Learn to accept things for face value and enjoy life. Cherish every moment as though it were your last because this is your last time you will see today.
One day while at her job as a bank loan officer, Patty Black, had a frog hop onto her desk and say, "I would like to apply for a lily-pad improvement loan." Patty looked incredulously at the frog and said, "I'm sorry, we don't loan money to frogs." To which the frog replied, "I have collateral," as he handed her a small ceramic trinket. Not wanting to be impolite, Patty said, "I don't know. I'll have to talk to the bank manager."
She walked back to the manager's office and said, "There is a frog out here, asking for a lily-pad improvement loan, and this trinket is all he has for collateral." The bank manager picked up the trinket and looked at it carefully. Then smiling he turned to Patty and said, "Why it's a knick-knack, Patty Black. Give the frog a loan."
Take the furture head on. And do it with a smile. : )
"Everything happens for a reason, don't worry about the reason just live with what happens"
Success comes from taking the initiative and following up ... persisting ... eloquently expressing the depth of your love. What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life?
Anthony Robbins
Sally was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 5-year-old daughter to answer the phone. “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”
Gossip
There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us. That it hardly behooves any of us, to talk about the rest of us.
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spirtual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.
Denis Waitley
While visiting a friend in the hospital a young man noticed several pretty nurses, each one of them was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asked one of them. “Oh! Nothing,” she said with a chuckle. “We just use it to keep the doctors away.”
Asking
A person who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; a person who never asks is a fool forever.
The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.
Victor Hugo
Friday, March 5, 2010
A mother mouse and her three children crept out of their hole into the kitchen and began feasting on some delicious bits of food. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, Mother Mouse saw a cat slinking toward them. The cat was between the mice and their hole. The mother muse puffed up her lungs and went, “Woof! Woof!” The cat turned tail and ran. With that, the mother quickly led her children back to safety in their hole. When they were settle and breathing normally, Mother Mouse said to her children. “Now, what’s the lesson from that experience?” “We don’t know,” the baby mice squeaked. “It is this,” said Mother Mouse. “It’s always good to know a second language.”
Mold in the bathroom
To remove mold from the grout between the bathroom tiles in a spray bottle mix ½ cup 3% hydrogen peroxide solution and 1 cup of water and spray on the problem areas. Let dry, then wipe down the area.
Note: hydrogen peroxide loses its potency when exposed to air so buy a small bottle and discard after use.
Wise are those who learn that the bottom line doesn't always have to be their top priority.
William Arthur Ward
When Grandpa and Billy entered their vacation cabin, they kept the lights off until they were inside to keep from attracting insects. Still, a few fireflies followed them in. Noticing them before Grandpa did, Billy whispered, ‘It’s no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.’
Friends
An old friend is better than two new ones...Don't walk in front of me, I will not follow, don't walk behind me, I will not lead, please walk beside me and just be my friend... :)
There is no such thing as can't, only won't. If you're qualified, all it takes is a burning desire to accomplish, to make a change. Go forward, go backward. Whatever it takes! But you can't blame other people or society in general. It all comes from your mind. When we do the impossible we realize we are special people.
Jan Ashford
Doctor my son swallowed my pen, what do I do?
Use a pencil until I get there.
Doing The Right Thing
The truth only needs to be said once, a lie needs to be told over and over!
You cannot change anything in your life with intention alone, which can become a watered-down, occasional hope that you'll get to tomorrow. Intention without action is useless.
Caroline Myss
A tourist stopped a local in a village he was visiting and asked; “what is the quickest way to the lake? The local thought for a while. “Are you walking or driving?” he asked the tourist. “I’m driving.” “That is the quickest way!” the local said.
Fresh mud on carpets or rugs?
Cover the spot with baking soda, wait 20 minutes, then vacuum.
Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence.
Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear.
Perhaps the action you take will be successful;
Perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow.
But any action is better than no action at all.
Norman Vincent Peale
I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore. -Peter Finch as Howard Beale in"Network"(1976) Screenplay byPaddy Chayefsky (academy award) You can read the whole frighteningly relevant monologue here http://www.whysanity.net/monos/network3.html
Vicky was at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect. Her six-year-old son picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say, “We have Vicky on the line. Will you accept the charges?” Frantic, the six-year-old dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, “Dad! They have Mom! And they want money!”
Time and Wounds
Time heals all wounds (but leaves the ugly scars). If you want to be happy don't bank on forgetting issues; just believe you've gotten over them.
A man walks pass a beggar on the corner of the street where he works. The beggar holds out his one hand and the man drops a coin into his hand. One day the man walks pass the beggar again and notices the beggar is holding hold out both his hands. He asks: “Why are you holding out both of your hands?” The beggar replied, "You see sir, business is going so well I decided to open another branch".
LIfes Failures
"Many of lifes failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
-Thomas Edison-
+ General JokeSounds like my dates when I was a youngster.. (I'm kidding of course - I never got past the meal..) The office playboy had a date with an attractive young woman. The next day someone asked him how things had gone. "She uses too many four-letter words for me," was the reply. "Really?" "Yes," answered the playboy. "All evening long she was saying "don't" and "stop" and "quit that."
The Antartian reported for her university final examination which consisted of "yes/no" type questions. She took her seat in the examination hall and stared at the question paper for five minutes.
In a fit of inspiration, she took her purse out, removed a coin and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she was all done, whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out.
During the last few minutes, she was seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approached her and asked what was going on. Her reply was, "I finished the exam in half and hour, but I'm rechecking my answers."
Learn to forgive.
Learn to write your hurts in the sand where the wind of forgiveness will erase them and carve your benefits in the stone where nothing will erase them.
- Anonymous -
The physician writing out a prescription for his hypertensive cardiac patient: “Diazepam 5mg (tranquilizer) TDS".
The patient’s wife asks, "Doctor, when are these medicines to be given?"
Doctor: "These are to be taken by you. He needs rest"
Remember, success is not measured by heights attained but by obstacles overcome. We're going to pass through many obstacles in our lives: good days, bad days. But the successful person will overcome those obstacles and constantly move forward.
Bruce Jenner, American Olympian
+ General JokeVancouver 2010 Drinking Game First, lay in a stock of your favorite beverage. Then, turn on NBC and observe the following rules: 1. Take one drink every time a NBC announcer invites you to "share a moment with the world." 2. Take one drink every time snowboarding highlights are backed up by rock-and-roll guitar/heavy metal headbanger music. 3. Take one drink every time a female athlete is described as "America's _____ing sweetheart." Take an extra drink if the athlete in question is "American's curling sweetheart." 4. Clap your hands and take one drink every time reference is made to "the revolutionary new clap skate" being used in speed skating. 5. Take one drink every time figure skating commentator Scott Hamilton shouts that a skater "NAILED!!" a jump. 6. Take one drink every time you hear a hockey announcer shout, "He shoots...he scores!" Take two drinks if you're watching women's hockey and you hear, "She shoots...she scores!" 7. Take one drink every time NBC promises to get "up close and personal" with an athlete. 8. Take one drink every time a skater is presented with a bouquet of flowers. 9. Take one drink every time America's quest for its first medal in luge is mentioned. Take an extra drink if America actually happens to win a medal in luge. 10. Take one drink and sigh, "That's good, mon" every time reference is made to the Jamaican bobsled team. 11. Take one drink every time the REAL Olympic theme is heard.
A guy walking down a street one afternoon passes an old man sitting on the side of the road with a large sack.
The younger guy says to the old man, "Watcha got in the sack?"
The old man responds, "I got some monkeys in that there sack."
The younger man asks, "If I guess how many monkeys you got in the sack, can I keep one?"
The old man replies, "Son, if you guess how many monkeys I got in this sack, I'll give you both of 'em!"
Beware of Attachments
If you get an email that has an attachment (usually there is a paperclip symbol next to the name) don´t open it! Attachments can have viruses which will hurt your computer. If you don´t know the person, delete the email right away. If you do know the person, use a virus scan program first to be sure it is safe.
Mold in the bathroom
To remove mold from the grout between the bathroom tiles in a spray bottle mix ½ cup 3% hydrogen peroxide solution and 1 cup of water and spray on the problem areas. Let dry, then wipe down the area.
Note: hydrogen peroxide loses its potency when exposed to air so buy a small bottle and discard after use.
Wise are those who learn that the bottom line doesn't always have to be their top priority.
William Arthur Ward
When Grandpa and Billy entered their vacation cabin, they kept the lights off until they were inside to keep from attracting insects. Still, a few fireflies followed them in. Noticing them before Grandpa did, Billy whispered, ‘It’s no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.’
Friends
An old friend is better than two new ones...Don't walk in front of me, I will not follow, don't walk behind me, I will not lead, please walk beside me and just be my friend... :)
There is no such thing as can't, only won't. If you're qualified, all it takes is a burning desire to accomplish, to make a change. Go forward, go backward. Whatever it takes! But you can't blame other people or society in general. It all comes from your mind. When we do the impossible we realize we are special people.
Jan Ashford
Doctor my son swallowed my pen, what do I do?
Use a pencil until I get there.
Doing The Right Thing
The truth only needs to be said once, a lie needs to be told over and over!
You cannot change anything in your life with intention alone, which can become a watered-down, occasional hope that you'll get to tomorrow. Intention without action is useless.
Caroline Myss
A tourist stopped a local in a village he was visiting and asked; “what is the quickest way to the lake? The local thought for a while. “Are you walking or driving?” he asked the tourist. “I’m driving.” “That is the quickest way!” the local said.
Fresh mud on carpets or rugs?
Cover the spot with baking soda, wait 20 minutes, then vacuum.
Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence.
Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear.
Perhaps the action you take will be successful;
Perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow.
But any action is better than no action at all.
Norman Vincent Peale
I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore. -Peter Finch as Howard Beale in"Network"(1976) Screenplay byPaddy Chayefsky (academy award) You can read the whole frighteningly relevant monologue here http://www.whysanity.net/monos/network3.html
Vicky was at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect. Her six-year-old son picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say, “We have Vicky on the line. Will you accept the charges?” Frantic, the six-year-old dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, “Dad! They have Mom! And they want money!”
Time and Wounds
Time heals all wounds (but leaves the ugly scars). If you want to be happy don't bank on forgetting issues; just believe you've gotten over them.
A man walks pass a beggar on the corner of the street where he works. The beggar holds out his one hand and the man drops a coin into his hand. One day the man walks pass the beggar again and notices the beggar is holding hold out both his hands. He asks: “Why are you holding out both of your hands?” The beggar replied, "You see sir, business is going so well I decided to open another branch".
LIfes Failures
"Many of lifes failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
-Thomas Edison-
+ General JokeSounds like my dates when I was a youngster.. (I'm kidding of course - I never got past the meal..) The office playboy had a date with an attractive young woman. The next day someone asked him how things had gone. "She uses too many four-letter words for me," was the reply. "Really?" "Yes," answered the playboy. "All evening long she was saying "don't" and "stop" and "quit that."
The Antartian reported for her university final examination which consisted of "yes/no" type questions. She took her seat in the examination hall and stared at the question paper for five minutes.
In a fit of inspiration, she took her purse out, removed a coin and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she was all done, whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out.
During the last few minutes, she was seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approached her and asked what was going on. Her reply was, "I finished the exam in half and hour, but I'm rechecking my answers."
Learn to forgive.
Learn to write your hurts in the sand where the wind of forgiveness will erase them and carve your benefits in the stone where nothing will erase them.
- Anonymous -
The physician writing out a prescription for his hypertensive cardiac patient: “Diazepam 5mg (tranquilizer) TDS".
The patient’s wife asks, "Doctor, when are these medicines to be given?"
Doctor: "These are to be taken by you. He needs rest"
Remember, success is not measured by heights attained but by obstacles overcome. We're going to pass through many obstacles in our lives: good days, bad days. But the successful person will overcome those obstacles and constantly move forward.
Bruce Jenner, American Olympian
+ General JokeVancouver 2010 Drinking Game First, lay in a stock of your favorite beverage. Then, turn on NBC and observe the following rules: 1. Take one drink every time a NBC announcer invites you to "share a moment with the world." 2. Take one drink every time snowboarding highlights are backed up by rock-and-roll guitar/heavy metal headbanger music. 3. Take one drink every time a female athlete is described as "America's _____ing sweetheart." Take an extra drink if the athlete in question is "American's curling sweetheart." 4. Clap your hands and take one drink every time reference is made to "the revolutionary new clap skate" being used in speed skating. 5. Take one drink every time figure skating commentator Scott Hamilton shouts that a skater "NAILED!!" a jump. 6. Take one drink every time you hear a hockey announcer shout, "He shoots...he scores!" Take two drinks if you're watching women's hockey and you hear, "She shoots...she scores!" 7. Take one drink every time NBC promises to get "up close and personal" with an athlete. 8. Take one drink every time a skater is presented with a bouquet of flowers. 9. Take one drink every time America's quest for its first medal in luge is mentioned. Take an extra drink if America actually happens to win a medal in luge. 10. Take one drink and sigh, "That's good, mon" every time reference is made to the Jamaican bobsled team. 11. Take one drink every time the REAL Olympic theme is heard.
A guy walking down a street one afternoon passes an old man sitting on the side of the road with a large sack.
The younger guy says to the old man, "Watcha got in the sack?"
The old man responds, "I got some monkeys in that there sack."
The younger man asks, "If I guess how many monkeys you got in the sack, can I keep one?"
The old man replies, "Son, if you guess how many monkeys I got in this sack, I'll give you both of 'em!"
Beware of Attachments
If you get an email that has an attachment (usually there is a paperclip symbol next to the name) don´t open it! Attachments can have viruses which will hurt your computer. If you don´t know the person, delete the email right away. If you do know the person, use a virus scan program first to be sure it is safe.
A frog goes into a bank and hops up to a teller. He can see from her name plate that she is called Patricia Whack,
so he says "Ms. Whack, I'd like to borrow $30,000, please."
The teller asks for his name and the frog replies that he is Kermit Jagger, son of Mick Jagger, and a personal friend of the bank manager. Unconvinced, Ms. Whack explains she will need some identity and also some security against his loan. The frog produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant and hands it to her.
The confused teller says she will have to consult with her manager. 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger at the counter who wants to borrow $30,000," she tells her boss. "And what do you think this elephant is about?"
The manager looks back at her and says "It's a knick-knack, Patti Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone.'
Getting what you want
Never take no for an answer from someone who doesn’t have the authority to say yes.
A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time.
At the roulette table she says, "I have no idea what number to play."
A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her age.
Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 32.
The wheel is spun, and 41 comes up.
The smile drifted from the woman's face and she fainted.
People Skills
When a friend comes to you for advice be sure not to get so absorbed in it that you actually solve one of your own problems with the advice you offer to them. Remember the results may have a devastating effect on their situation and with that, only you, reap the benefits.
To admit you were wrong is to declare you are wiser now than before.
Unknown
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear?
A. Because every time she got hot, he'd beat her with a shovel!
Be a Leader
Do not follow a path that’s already made. Go a different direction and make your own.
+ General Joke"Keanu Reeves will star in 'Speed 3.' The first 'Speed' was about a runaway bus, the second was about a boat, and the third one is going to be about a Toyota." –Jay Leno "I tell you, though. People still have faith in Toyota, even with these massive recalls. The Toyota Prius has retained its title as Consumer Reports' top pick for eco-friendly vehicle. They said it's a great way to get in touch with the environment, especially when it flies out of control and hits the trees." –Jay Leno
I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.
General George S. Patton
Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.
Stephen R. Covey
+ General JokeHow Canadian women can fight terrorism As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a naked woman who is not his wife. So, this Sunday at 2:00 PM Eastern time all Canadian women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti- terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all Canadian women. And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment. The Canadian Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity. God Bless Canada!
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
Be prepared
Find a service that you can contact before you arrive in your chosen destination area that will give you a "Heads Up" about the area. Such a service should be able to give you maps, door-to-door directions, area attraction brochures, as well as set up reservations for transportation, dining, lodging, tours and local attractions.
The difference between extraordinary people and ordinary people is a simple as the difference between the two words. Extraordinary people are committed to doing the extra things that ordinary people won't.
Christine Kinney
When I had my surgery, the doctor gave me a local anesthetic. I could not afford the imported kind.
QUOTE: Success, Emerson
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
A drunk guy approaches a cute girl in a singles bar. “Hi Babe, how about a date? He says. “Don’t waste your time. I never go out with a perfect stranger.”
“It seems we are both in luck. I’m far from perfect.”
Conserve Water
To conserve water: Do not run water while brushing your teeth. It is unnecessary to waste water while brushing your teeth. Only run the water when rinsing your brush. It is a habit one can acquire easily and can be done for the rest of your life!
An idiot guy walks up to the door of a bar, rolling a wheel along with him. The bouncer says, “Hey, what are you doing with that?”
“Last time I came here, they said we had to have proper IDs and a tire.”
10 tips for Better Bunker Play
Here are some things to keep in mind to better your bunker play:
1) Keep an open stance
2) Ball should be positioned ahead of center of lead foot
3) Feet dug into sand to anchor; toes are deeper than heels
4) Choke down on grip to adjust for buried feet
5) Take grip with clubface open
6) Swing club back to a position that has the lead arm parallel with the ground with the wrists fully cocked
7) Hit 2 inches behind the ball
8) Accelerate through the shot
9) Practice is critical
WE MUST BE THANKFUL FOR ...
By M. Raymond Sheppard
We must be thankful for the offer and willingness to help, not the outcome.
We must be thankful for the challenges, not just the successes,
We must be thankful for the spirited debate, not just the resolution,
We must be thankful for the child that tries to cheer us up when we are down and the child that tries to help another child, not just the child that does his/her chores,
We must be thankful not just for what the Creator has done, but what he/she hasn't done,
We must be thankful for our trails and tribulations, not just our glorious victories,
We must be thankful for the clothes on our back, and not ungrateful for the style they lack.
We must be thankful for the $10 we might have today that we didn't have yesterday, and let go of the fact that we did not get the thousand we wanted,
We must be thankful for the hug our loved one gave to us, although they did not say they loved us,
We must be thankful for the meal we had today, and not dwell on the one we might have dreamed of,
We must be thankful for the job we have now, not just the one we might get or wished we had,
We must be thankful for that friend that is with us and supports us, not just the best friend that isn't there,
We must be thankful for the survivors of natural catastrophes, and be thankful for the memory of those we might have lost,
We must be thankful for all things.
so he says "Ms. Whack, I'd like to borrow $30,000, please."
The teller asks for his name and the frog replies that he is Kermit Jagger, son of Mick Jagger, and a personal friend of the bank manager. Unconvinced, Ms. Whack explains she will need some identity and also some security against his loan. The frog produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant and hands it to her.
The confused teller says she will have to consult with her manager. 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger at the counter who wants to borrow $30,000," she tells her boss. "And what do you think this elephant is about?"
The manager looks back at her and says "It's a knick-knack, Patti Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone.'
Getting what you want
Never take no for an answer from someone who doesn’t have the authority to say yes.
A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time.
At the roulette table she says, "I have no idea what number to play."
A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her age.
Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 32.
The wheel is spun, and 41 comes up.
The smile drifted from the woman's face and she fainted.
People Skills
When a friend comes to you for advice be sure not to get so absorbed in it that you actually solve one of your own problems with the advice you offer to them. Remember the results may have a devastating effect on their situation and with that, only you, reap the benefits.
To admit you were wrong is to declare you are wiser now than before.
Unknown
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear?
A. Because every time she got hot, he'd beat her with a shovel!
Be a Leader
Do not follow a path that’s already made. Go a different direction and make your own.
+ General Joke"Keanu Reeves will star in 'Speed 3.' The first 'Speed' was about a runaway bus, the second was about a boat, and the third one is going to be about a Toyota." –Jay Leno "I tell you, though. People still have faith in Toyota, even with these massive recalls. The Toyota Prius has retained its title as Consumer Reports' top pick for eco-friendly vehicle. They said it's a great way to get in touch with the environment, especially when it flies out of control and hits the trees." –Jay Leno
I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.
General George S. Patton
Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.
Stephen R. Covey
+ General JokeHow Canadian women can fight terrorism As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a naked woman who is not his wife. So, this Sunday at 2:00 PM Eastern time all Canadian women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti- terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all Canadian women. And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment. The Canadian Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity. God Bless Canada!
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
Be prepared
Find a service that you can contact before you arrive in your chosen destination area that will give you a "Heads Up" about the area. Such a service should be able to give you maps, door-to-door directions, area attraction brochures, as well as set up reservations for transportation, dining, lodging, tours and local attractions.
The difference between extraordinary people and ordinary people is a simple as the difference between the two words. Extraordinary people are committed to doing the extra things that ordinary people won't.
Christine Kinney
When I had my surgery, the doctor gave me a local anesthetic. I could not afford the imported kind.
QUOTE: Success, Emerson
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
A drunk guy approaches a cute girl in a singles bar. “Hi Babe, how about a date? He says. “Don’t waste your time. I never go out with a perfect stranger.”
“It seems we are both in luck. I’m far from perfect.”
Conserve Water
To conserve water: Do not run water while brushing your teeth. It is unnecessary to waste water while brushing your teeth. Only run the water when rinsing your brush. It is a habit one can acquire easily and can be done for the rest of your life!
An idiot guy walks up to the door of a bar, rolling a wheel along with him. The bouncer says, “Hey, what are you doing with that?”
“Last time I came here, they said we had to have proper IDs and a tire.”
10 tips for Better Bunker Play
Here are some things to keep in mind to better your bunker play:
1) Keep an open stance
2) Ball should be positioned ahead of center of lead foot
3) Feet dug into sand to anchor; toes are deeper than heels
4) Choke down on grip to adjust for buried feet
5) Take grip with clubface open
6) Swing club back to a position that has the lead arm parallel with the ground with the wrists fully cocked
7) Hit 2 inches behind the ball
8) Accelerate through the shot
9) Practice is critical
WE MUST BE THANKFUL FOR ...
By M. Raymond Sheppard
We must be thankful for the offer and willingness to help, not the outcome.
We must be thankful for the challenges, not just the successes,
We must be thankful for the spirited debate, not just the resolution,
We must be thankful for the child that tries to cheer us up when we are down and the child that tries to help another child, not just the child that does his/her chores,
We must be thankful not just for what the Creator has done, but what he/she hasn't done,
We must be thankful for our trails and tribulations, not just our glorious victories,
We must be thankful for the clothes on our back, and not ungrateful for the style they lack.
We must be thankful for the $10 we might have today that we didn't have yesterday, and let go of the fact that we did not get the thousand we wanted,
We must be thankful for the hug our loved one gave to us, although they did not say they loved us,
We must be thankful for the meal we had today, and not dwell on the one we might have dreamed of,
We must be thankful for the job we have now, not just the one we might get or wished we had,
We must be thankful for that friend that is with us and supports us, not just the best friend that isn't there,
We must be thankful for the survivors of natural catastrophes, and be thankful for the memory of those we might have lost,
We must be thankful for all things.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Underwater castle, evil girl lives opposite us
6:25pm || 4 February 2010
Part of this dream was good and part of it was bad. I remember we were on some adventure, there was me and 2 other guys. I found myself in a tight rope situation and was suddenly tied up by the enemy both hands up and then one of my friends comes and throws like a sharp object could hav been a sword and it cutted the ropes and my hadsn were free. We ran and then suddenly we were swimming in ocean water. I said I was going this way underwater and they parted off. WTH I was like a living fish I could breathe so long underwater wifout anything and I went so deep and explored the ocean water and to my amazement found this floating castle in the water. It looked like the UQ forgan smith building but with actual castle tops, very princess like. I entered a door between 2 pillars and it was actually a secret one entrance that involved magic coz once I went thru I was dry automatically and was on land in the castle. SO weird but there was no one around. I went to the left a bit and there was just open garden land and trees sooo pretty and the sun was shining it was mid to late afternoon. I felt like I was back in Jane Austen times. Decided that wasn't the place I wanted to go, I was searching for people so I went back right and continue on the path and then decided to go up some stairs. Then I bumped into a maid or servant I think? and they took me to this room thru white doors and inside it was like a normal play room. Wooden floor layering and plenty of babies and toddlers playing and fooling around. The oldest would have been about 4 or 5ish. And I had a really good time. I had no idea the castle was belonged to them and he said he was the prince master.
2nd part of this dream: Man I was spooked outta my pants in this one. Setting is our old house at Carindale and we had evil witches and such living just opposite at that renovating house, it has like a blue roof and white brick house. So one day I look out from upstairs living room and stare into their house, there was a girl who stood up against the back fence of the house and her eyes would turn red and her hair will be blowing and it was like she was staring at me like she wanted to kill me. She wasn't wearing exactly a black dress more like a floral dress. When her eyes turn red it felt as if I was hit my her power from her red eyes that I flew back a bit and landed on my back, I just fell down. It was soo scary. What is odd about this is its taking place like in mid day. She just had herself backed up against the wall and in a normal stance.
Another day I would get my brother to look out and tell me to stare into that house and look at the girl, he didn't believe me and instead he screamed out RIHANNA and I was like WTH? There was no girl there, but from where he looked he wasn't even facing the fence. When I ask my brother whether he knows anything about those people he tells me yea they are weird coz they at 7:30am in the morning have there lights on already. Then one day we decided to go over with my family to talk to them and find out what they get up to. I was so scared that I didn't even wanna go with them to talk but then I was like hey they are with me. Turns out they are witch students and there are 4 girls and their mum. They were really nice and showed us some of their spells and chants, they sat in a circle at the front of the house and just linked hands and had their whole peace of mind and eyes closed. Turns out that girl was just practicing by backing up against the wall saying it gives her energy.
The Treasure hunter inspired dream hands down
4:07pm || 9 February 2010
Yup the title says it all. It was really a treasure hunt this quest we went on. There was me, Ray and mum on this mission. It was like a open temple for pray and one of the rooms had so many little buddhas statue with a box supplied at each one all around the room. In each of the stations with the buddha, he has a box where you can see buttons, sequences and a whole lotta other embrodiery material, stones jewels very used but. And gold would be produced sometimes it's very small and hard to see or tell whether it is the real thing or not other times it appears quite big. It comes outta the buddha's hand that is emgraved pic inside the centre of the box itself. Very funny we had an idea, to make it much easier and why don't people just take all the gems and stuff outta the box and then just watch for when the gold appears. Other ideas were coz every box was different some had much more gems and jewels then others it would be harder to find, coz there u had to do a lotta shuffling around the box even between the gems and jewels to find the actual gold, coz some are soo fine people overlook it. You also can't just stand at one station all day, you had to move around coz some stations are more lucky than others, will have more at a time than say the one at the corner. I found some but they were really small.
6:25pm || 4 February 2010
Part of this dream was good and part of it was bad. I remember we were on some adventure, there was me and 2 other guys. I found myself in a tight rope situation and was suddenly tied up by the enemy both hands up and then one of my friends comes and throws like a sharp object could hav been a sword and it cutted the ropes and my hadsn were free. We ran and then suddenly we were swimming in ocean water. I said I was going this way underwater and they parted off. WTH I was like a living fish I could breathe so long underwater wifout anything and I went so deep and explored the ocean water and to my amazement found this floating castle in the water. It looked like the UQ forgan smith building but with actual castle tops, very princess like. I entered a door between 2 pillars and it was actually a secret one entrance that involved magic coz once I went thru I was dry automatically and was on land in the castle. SO weird but there was no one around. I went to the left a bit and there was just open garden land and trees sooo pretty and the sun was shining it was mid to late afternoon. I felt like I was back in Jane Austen times. Decided that wasn't the place I wanted to go, I was searching for people so I went back right and continue on the path and then decided to go up some stairs. Then I bumped into a maid or servant I think? and they took me to this room thru white doors and inside it was like a normal play room. Wooden floor layering and plenty of babies and toddlers playing and fooling around. The oldest would have been about 4 or 5ish. And I had a really good time. I had no idea the castle was belonged to them and he said he was the prince master.
2nd part of this dream: Man I was spooked outta my pants in this one. Setting is our old house at Carindale and we had evil witches and such living just opposite at that renovating house, it has like a blue roof and white brick house. So one day I look out from upstairs living room and stare into their house, there was a girl who stood up against the back fence of the house and her eyes would turn red and her hair will be blowing and it was like she was staring at me like she wanted to kill me. She wasn't wearing exactly a black dress more like a floral dress. When her eyes turn red it felt as if I was hit my her power from her red eyes that I flew back a bit and landed on my back, I just fell down. It was soo scary. What is odd about this is its taking place like in mid day. She just had herself backed up against the wall and in a normal stance.
Another day I would get my brother to look out and tell me to stare into that house and look at the girl, he didn't believe me and instead he screamed out RIHANNA and I was like WTH? There was no girl there, but from where he looked he wasn't even facing the fence. When I ask my brother whether he knows anything about those people he tells me yea they are weird coz they at 7:30am in the morning have there lights on already. Then one day we decided to go over with my family to talk to them and find out what they get up to. I was so scared that I didn't even wanna go with them to talk but then I was like hey they are with me. Turns out they are witch students and there are 4 girls and their mum. They were really nice and showed us some of their spells and chants, they sat in a circle at the front of the house and just linked hands and had their whole peace of mind and eyes closed. Turns out that girl was just practicing by backing up against the wall saying it gives her energy.
The Treasure hunter inspired dream hands down
4:07pm || 9 February 2010
Yup the title says it all. It was really a treasure hunt this quest we went on. There was me, Ray and mum on this mission. It was like a open temple for pray and one of the rooms had so many little buddhas statue with a box supplied at each one all around the room. In each of the stations with the buddha, he has a box where you can see buttons, sequences and a whole lotta other embrodiery material, stones jewels very used but. And gold would be produced sometimes it's very small and hard to see or tell whether it is the real thing or not other times it appears quite big. It comes outta the buddha's hand that is emgraved pic inside the centre of the box itself. Very funny we had an idea, to make it much easier and why don't people just take all the gems and stuff outta the box and then just watch for when the gold appears. Other ideas were coz every box was different some had much more gems and jewels then others it would be harder to find, coz there u had to do a lotta shuffling around the box even between the gems and jewels to find the actual gold, coz some are soo fine people overlook it. You also can't just stand at one station all day, you had to move around coz some stations are more lucky than others, will have more at a time than say the one at the corner. I found some but they were really small.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
~+~January Dreams~+~
Both Angelas again doing the round up back flip?
8:02am || 2 January 2010
Unbelievable, what a dream it was. One part of the dream was that one angela as we were heading out of the school gate, demonstarted to me how to do the back flip and when I saw it it was perfect and I'm thinking when did she learn that. I kept asking where you go to learn that but she just kept laughing and didn't say anything. Another dream was getting my turn and remember being in a toilet
I am like a spy in a movie again?
9:47pm || 5 January 2010
I am like a secret agent of some sort and I play behind the scenes, I am like the spy and on a mission to protect someone? This person looks so similar to me, almost like an identical twin but not, had short hair, was like I was spying on her in this spacecraft, and I knew someone was after to catch her, some really weird looking guy but a monster face?? I was in the same room, of this spacecraft and I was overlooking everything, I was like rite next to them and they had no clue and could not hear or smell that I was right in front of them. So weird. I don't know what she was doing in that room, but judging by her movements, she was looking for something but obviously totally unaware that someone was after her. Then she left and I was like I sense something is really wrong. Someone came moments later she left, the monster scary looking dude, the aircraft and didn't stay to long the beast either and quickly headed off.
Then we are at another scene, outdoor, outside it was like a snow skating rink. Funny it wasn't cold for me but I secured my place as the onlooker from behind the hilly white snows. The girl was just skating I believe, doing nofing much and then the monster appears suddenly behind her, she didn't even notice, he was racing coming up really quickly behind her. So scary I was scared for the girl, I tried to scream, don't know if they would hear me or if I lurred the monster in for myself, anyway I needed to do something fast and get her attention knowing there is a beast heading straight for her. I yelled to get her attention something like 'watch out' 'behind you' I shouted and she turned and noticed me and the monster running towards her. Suddenly something appeared out of nowhere, it was like a spirit stick with magical powers just blasted from ice near her, I think it came from below the ice on the rink. Anyway it was her chance and so she grabed the stick and threw it towards the monster. I couldn't believe it, it was a good throw and caused sick ass damage. Then I can't remember anything else. Maybe a huge flash of light. Had no idea what happened next.
parachutes, emo girl
4:15pm || 7 January 2010
OMGee. This was a good dream but not good. We had class but then outside we could see the beautiful ocean and beachside front. WTH we came out and saw all these parachutes falling from the sky everywhere, some failed to open but most did and people were landing on the water. I had no idea wat on earth was going on. Maybe this dream was triggered by air crash investigation? I iono. I clearly remembered someone saying to me, I think it was high school Rachel, during the time I was out of class. It was weird everyone in class was in a dark room and suddenly you come out and you're blessed with beautiful scenes and wind and nice sunshine. I think it may have been Rachel who told me this: there is this smart girl, a big scholarship winner, good grades etc and everyone loves her, and she has turned emo. Nobody wants to be around her, she is dangerous. She is now a rebel and do very evil things. I asked questions like has anyone seem her and talked to her? No she said and she didn't even know. I didn't know whether to believe her or not, but the way she told me this fact was really freaking me out inside the dream. Man I was real scared.
dinner with hk celebs, lunch with random mates? planes and lollies
10:54am || 8 January 2010
OMGee. How can I remember this dream.. oh yea coz I slept in so late. Anywho at least it wasn't creepy. Man I did talk a lot in this dream. Well I clearly remember having dinner with hong kong celebrities at some high class fancy restaurant, kinda like the style tat was at The Mariot Hotel. Pretty awesome. It was as big as tat. Can't remember how I was dressed but I think casual smart, coz I remember there were a few who were in extremely strictly evening wear and dresses, or mayb it was cocktail style anyway tat was not my centre of attention. My centre of attention were all the celebrities. I was seated with mum and some other guests and like directly opposite me was Charlene Choi and Joey Yung both from EEG. We were eating entree and chatting. I got so excited coz not only was I in a place surrounded by celebs and only for them to eat but I ws meeting my idol Ah Sa. So I got pretty busy with the questions. I was throwing alot of questions towards joey yung for some reason and don't remember any going towards Ah Sa. Ok So I was saying to her, I'm following you on twitter? Do you have twitter? Is it really you on twitter? She goes no I don't have a twitter.. it's a fake. I'm like really? That means someone is faking you. Then she goes its a joke. I was like well I'm also following bernice liu, is it the real her on twitter? Is she here tonight. Then I say I'm following Samuel Chan and I know for real that is his twitter. I tried to remember some other people as well but and thought of denise ho, but didn't get a chance to ask. We all headed out.. for some reason and I just followed. On the way out I saw Samuel Chan he was at another table with another mate. When we went back in the room I was seated not with my mum this time but next to Charlene at another different table and she was next to Joey of course. She was constantly chatting to Joey and I was trying to get her attention. I had no idea what everything or everyone was doing. What was going on. We were getting served our main course. Seems to me it was just potatoes?? Anywayz I was like to Charlene wacking her shoulder saying how come you don't have a twitter? Everyone in HK who is famous is on it, you should get one. She still ignored me. Then turned around to me confirming the meal we were getting.
Part 2 of the dream was this. We were having a picnic on grass next to a main road, well really close to it. Before that we collected some food and then I had to find my group to sit at and ended up with the mixed friends group. Like the group consisted of my life friends I've been in contact with since I was very little or older. I remember there were 2 people that were clear to me in this group. That was Jeremy F from primary school and Winnie L from church. Winnie was next to me on the rite and Jeremy was directly opposite. I had some lollies with me in a bucket, and I had to of them so I passed them around. I noticed Winnie and her friends which I didn't know were scattering digging rite to the bottom of the box to get the good lollies.. I didn't know they were after the good ones, which were at the bottom. Not long after there were a whole heap of planes normal economical planes coming at the same time going really fast and heading rite all in the same direction. We could see them from really far away. They were all so bunched up together coming towards us but they weren't when they got even closer. I was like how come they don't just crash into each other since they r so close. Anyway they all zoomed passed us and continued rite, following the highway. There was a slightly smaller one that went straight into the truck that was on the highway in front of our eyes. I thought it was real and when I mentioned it to Winnie, she was too busy looking and following and getting all amazed at them flying so fast. But I swear, mayb they hadn't noticed but I thought it really happened, coz I saw a ditch in the back of that truck. Tat's all I can remember.
Right we are children again and building stuff
9:38am || 11 January 2010
I was in a team of me, some dude and another girl. In another team was my bro and aaron. 3 against 2 must me coz we suck maybe? We were like playing on 2 mats outside on a street, well sorta, like a path. It was night time. Why the hell were we playing outside on the street like this?? Anywho we raced the other team to complete a puzzle well wasn't a puzzle piece but building a toy. Don't know how many rounds we went through but I think at one of the hardest rounds we had ours was like a puppy dog and theirs was a batmobile. LOL Ours turned out soo kool coz once we finished and we knew it was correct because once u placed the last piece into place the light inside it turned on. And you could see there were people and like a doll house happening inside. I put the final piece in. Really funny coz to actually put the pieces together you had to work on another board and place pieces into that first. So it was like a puzzle within a much larger puzzle. Anywho mayb inspired by Survivor when they were placing puzzle pieces into the right shaped whole.
Fake drill before plane crashed
9:29am || 16 January 2010
Right I was in the car on the road and next to us was the ocean, we were like at a doc or something. I heard a really loud sound coming towards us and I looked out the window and saw a jet star plane (small one) diving down towards the water it almost was gonna go nose first but at last minute it managed to pull up its nose and continue up in the sky on its journey. I was like totally amazed it wasn't even a real one it was one of them fake ones coz they were going thru drill and training. But very good they didn't crash they knew what to do. Then moments later there was another plane it was a quantas and guess what it went straight down into the water. I was shocked. Then it floated back up on shore. And the crew people started the evacuation and opened mini boats at the doorways on the water.
Fake drill before plane crashed
11:04am || 20 January 2010
Went to bed late and didn't wake up till 10am. Thankfully there is a plus, since I was really tired from the workout yesterday, I had a deep sleep and was able to dream. I can remember quite a lot of details this time. Ok so I was shopping with parents and another of her friends and their children. The location could have been Cairns. We were in like this shopping centre that was casino feelish. Like Conrad Jupiters style. We stopped at the food courts and couldn't really decide what to eat. So we went back and fourth, then we stoped at a milk shake place and they ordered one for one of the kids. I was getting really bored and so I took off and said I'd call them later and I will just be walking around having a shop myself. I went to this place and I noticed there was a sizzler here. It looked really nice. Then I saw lifts and stairs next to each other. I waited there and when I went on it I didn't realize it was going down, so went it reached the bottom, I was like nope and stayed on and then the lift went up again, and picked up a bunch of european girls. They were on some holiday or something. Then I followed them onto another lift and got into the car with them. Before I even knew where they were heading I was asking where are you going? They said domestic airport, I was like what the hell I don't need to go there, I'm supposed to stay in the shopping centre. Turns out they were not going to the airport instead to their home. Inside I can't fully remember the details but we shifted chairs and tables and the subject of anatomy was bought up. Yea I know outta all the topics they had to pic anatomy. lol Then I remember speaking to Mandy, although wasn't really sure if it was her. We were in like a surburban dump and her dad was on top of all this rubbish standing next to his jet fighter plane that was painted to army wear. There was a twin jet beside his one. I was like what is your dad doing? Her dad was like someday mandy is gonna take you up on this, so you can get a real thrill!
Angela Dancing and guitar breaking, praying?
1:01pm || 24 January 2010
Right I totally remembered I was in my room, door closed and I was about to practice guitar when I pulled it out from my wardrobe and I noticed a 2 strings were really loose and also that the handle was snapped and broken. I was shocked how could this happen. Told dad how can we fix this and I was like OMG now I can't play for a long time and was like this is only like a year old guitar what the hell? I panicked and was like thank god I didn't really break the guitar in reality. Another part of the dream was just way weird. We were having another picnic yep on the grass beside the dock, I just can't understand why all these dreams are about bayside water and oh yes its coz holidays.. haha Me and Angela S were going to take a tour at the underwater walk where there were glass windows and fishes and all sorts of marine life you could see. Then we ended up at this weird pray ceremony even worst it was in a tight crammed place like the staircase in the movie My neighbour totoro. So wicked. and there were candles lid alll around as well. Ok this is getting way too weird.
Cairns Nightmare dream
10:18am || 31 January 2010
This dream was pretty much our trip to cairns gone wrong. Brisbane was just next to cairns and only separated by ocean water. Very scary because our adventure in cairns was turned into not being able to come back to Brisbane. Connecting Brisbane to Cairns was this one highway and it sank, broke down. It just divided and wasn't strong and there were police patrolling cars and boats coz some people were over hanging over the bridge and almost cars going down and trucks into the water. We had no idea how it happened. But apparently Cairns was turning not into a holiday destination but an unsafe sinking island. We went back into the heart of the cairns city and it looked like las vegas only there was no body there, everyone had just disappeared and we were quite shocked coz we didn't know where to go, if we couldn't go back to brisbane this way. We panicked coz we just had no idea of how to get home. We looked for helicopters and we managed to book one back in time. With me were the usual cairns holiday people my family excluding bro and grandparents. So scary coz upon arriving at the beach at brisbane, we crashed, how on earth did I know I crashed and died? Must of been my soul still living and witnessing.
Anywho there was plan B and we noticed some people used the skyrail flying boat to cross to cairns, from brisbane, we weren't so sure whether to take that root back. There were a few people who tried to walk across this narrow sand trail back to brisbane, but wat happens during high tied, too unsafe. At last we found our solution. Pay tickets for a speed boat, we went to the dock and everyone on had blue wrist bands and the lady doing the check in was like we can only take a few more. There was way too many people on the speed boat but luckily my mum wipped money at her and she gave us wrist bands, and so we were lucky to be able to get on. Once the boat left for brisbane we were at the scene at the broken bridge to brisbane and we saw this rescue boat had to help this guy who jumped into the water. Anywho I remembered flying past all this horrific scene of the traffic jam and I landed more towards the inner city area. I have no idea how I was flying.
Another section to this dream was I was with Christina and we were going to a lecture room and I had this massive cello, not violin as I got confused with and I couldn't bring it in so the dude told me to leave it outside and so I stood it outside.
Angela Dancing and guitar breaking, praying?
1:01pm || 1 February 2010
Right I totally remembered I was in my room, door closed and I was about to practice guitar when I pulled it out from my wardrobe and I noticed a 2 strings were really loose and also that the handle was snapped and broken. I was shocked how could this happen. Told dad how can we fix this and I was like OMG now I can't play for a long time and was like this is only like a year old guitar what the hell? I panicked and was like thank god I didn't really break the guitar in reality. Another part of the dream was just way weird. We were having another picnic yep on the grass beside the dock, I just can't understand why all these dreams are about bayside water and oh yes its coz holidays.. haha Me and Angela S were going to take a tour at the underwater walk where there were glass windows and fishes and all sorts of marine life you could see. Then we ended up at this weird pray ceremony even worst it was in a tight crammed place like the staircase in the movie My neighbour totoro. So wicked. and there were candles lid alll around as well. Ok this is getting way too weird.
2 dreams in one night thingy
9:47am || 2 February 2010
First one was I was either watching it on tele or actually standing in front of all these people at the front of the lecture room. So it was this game show thingy, well not really it was battle of the minds, event called mind challenge. There were 3 teams and they all sat in their blocks and each block had like 1000 people in it, how on earth did they manage to sit them all down without crowding or stepping over each other. I wouldn't know but people their looked like seniors from high school, by their white uniforms.
Part 2 of dream was dead weird. I was in the dressing room and was asked to put on this ancient Chinese costume and pretend to be someone else, ur royal highness I suppose who knew I was actually being hunted, mayb I was a princess I don't know. Well anyway I was putting on the head gear which was my long hair and it was like orange and blondy wig thingy and I had no idea how to put it on but then some lady came over and helped me put it into place and then straighten it out, there was tonnes braids and they were all loose and needed to be pinned up and ringed near the top. Once I was done I had to walk outside and outside was this nice chinese garden and their was a bridge and all stones and plants and trees around, before I knew it someone caught me and tried to attack me and I was like no I am not the person you are looking for. Before I knew what next I was knocked out and dead?
Panda chermside, piglet chasing me and excercise
8:59am || 3 February 2010
Hmm this was bad and evil dream I'd say. Panda and I were gonna meet at chermside bus stop. But then I forgot about other things I had to do and totally forgot I had told her I'd meet her there. So I quickly texted back and she got it in time and said it's ok. Based on a real life case that was. I felt really bad and kinda worried. I was scared in this other part of the dream which I was running in the dark in ovals and ovals that connected to each other. Then me and someone else was playing this ball game which just required us to throw it to each other and somehow she was able to throw so long over away and it just kept on rolling and rolling and I was chasing after it and it seemed like forever, then it was caught under a car on the highway or a truck perhaps and I was on the path rite next to it hoping it will roll back in, and the piglet snatched it somehow as it was coming towards the side line and we returned back. Another time I remember getting the ball but then the piglet will stare at me for no reason and I had to race it back to return the ball to the next person. I was running up hills small ones but there were many. That piglet was scary it was like grey and looked like babe.
8:02am || 2 January 2010
Unbelievable, what a dream it was. One part of the dream was that one angela as we were heading out of the school gate, demonstarted to me how to do the back flip and when I saw it it was perfect and I'm thinking when did she learn that. I kept asking where you go to learn that but she just kept laughing and didn't say anything. Another dream was getting my turn and remember being in a toilet
I am like a spy in a movie again?
9:47pm || 5 January 2010
I am like a secret agent of some sort and I play behind the scenes, I am like the spy and on a mission to protect someone? This person looks so similar to me, almost like an identical twin but not, had short hair, was like I was spying on her in this spacecraft, and I knew someone was after to catch her, some really weird looking guy but a monster face?? I was in the same room, of this spacecraft and I was overlooking everything, I was like rite next to them and they had no clue and could not hear or smell that I was right in front of them. So weird. I don't know what she was doing in that room, but judging by her movements, she was looking for something but obviously totally unaware that someone was after her. Then she left and I was like I sense something is really wrong. Someone came moments later she left, the monster scary looking dude, the aircraft and didn't stay to long the beast either and quickly headed off.
Then we are at another scene, outdoor, outside it was like a snow skating rink. Funny it wasn't cold for me but I secured my place as the onlooker from behind the hilly white snows. The girl was just skating I believe, doing nofing much and then the monster appears suddenly behind her, she didn't even notice, he was racing coming up really quickly behind her. So scary I was scared for the girl, I tried to scream, don't know if they would hear me or if I lurred the monster in for myself, anyway I needed to do something fast and get her attention knowing there is a beast heading straight for her. I yelled to get her attention something like 'watch out' 'behind you' I shouted and she turned and noticed me and the monster running towards her. Suddenly something appeared out of nowhere, it was like a spirit stick with magical powers just blasted from ice near her, I think it came from below the ice on the rink. Anyway it was her chance and so she grabed the stick and threw it towards the monster. I couldn't believe it, it was a good throw and caused sick ass damage. Then I can't remember anything else. Maybe a huge flash of light. Had no idea what happened next.
parachutes, emo girl
4:15pm || 7 January 2010
OMGee. This was a good dream but not good. We had class but then outside we could see the beautiful ocean and beachside front. WTH we came out and saw all these parachutes falling from the sky everywhere, some failed to open but most did and people were landing on the water. I had no idea wat on earth was going on. Maybe this dream was triggered by air crash investigation? I iono. I clearly remembered someone saying to me, I think it was high school Rachel, during the time I was out of class. It was weird everyone in class was in a dark room and suddenly you come out and you're blessed with beautiful scenes and wind and nice sunshine. I think it may have been Rachel who told me this: there is this smart girl, a big scholarship winner, good grades etc and everyone loves her, and she has turned emo. Nobody wants to be around her, she is dangerous. She is now a rebel and do very evil things. I asked questions like has anyone seem her and talked to her? No she said and she didn't even know. I didn't know whether to believe her or not, but the way she told me this fact was really freaking me out inside the dream. Man I was real scared.
dinner with hk celebs, lunch with random mates? planes and lollies
10:54am || 8 January 2010
OMGee. How can I remember this dream.. oh yea coz I slept in so late. Anywho at least it wasn't creepy. Man I did talk a lot in this dream. Well I clearly remember having dinner with hong kong celebrities at some high class fancy restaurant, kinda like the style tat was at The Mariot Hotel. Pretty awesome. It was as big as tat. Can't remember how I was dressed but I think casual smart, coz I remember there were a few who were in extremely strictly evening wear and dresses, or mayb it was cocktail style anyway tat was not my centre of attention. My centre of attention were all the celebrities. I was seated with mum and some other guests and like directly opposite me was Charlene Choi and Joey Yung both from EEG. We were eating entree and chatting. I got so excited coz not only was I in a place surrounded by celebs and only for them to eat but I ws meeting my idol Ah Sa. So I got pretty busy with the questions. I was throwing alot of questions towards joey yung for some reason and don't remember any going towards Ah Sa. Ok So I was saying to her, I'm following you on twitter? Do you have twitter? Is it really you on twitter? She goes no I don't have a twitter.. it's a fake. I'm like really? That means someone is faking you. Then she goes its a joke. I was like well I'm also following bernice liu, is it the real her on twitter? Is she here tonight. Then I say I'm following Samuel Chan and I know for real that is his twitter. I tried to remember some other people as well but and thought of denise ho, but didn't get a chance to ask. We all headed out.. for some reason and I just followed. On the way out I saw Samuel Chan he was at another table with another mate. When we went back in the room I was seated not with my mum this time but next to Charlene at another different table and she was next to Joey of course. She was constantly chatting to Joey and I was trying to get her attention. I had no idea what everything or everyone was doing. What was going on. We were getting served our main course. Seems to me it was just potatoes?? Anywayz I was like to Charlene wacking her shoulder saying how come you don't have a twitter? Everyone in HK who is famous is on it, you should get one. She still ignored me. Then turned around to me confirming the meal we were getting.
Part 2 of the dream was this. We were having a picnic on grass next to a main road, well really close to it. Before that we collected some food and then I had to find my group to sit at and ended up with the mixed friends group. Like the group consisted of my life friends I've been in contact with since I was very little or older. I remember there were 2 people that were clear to me in this group. That was Jeremy F from primary school and Winnie L from church. Winnie was next to me on the rite and Jeremy was directly opposite. I had some lollies with me in a bucket, and I had to of them so I passed them around. I noticed Winnie and her friends which I didn't know were scattering digging rite to the bottom of the box to get the good lollies.. I didn't know they were after the good ones, which were at the bottom. Not long after there were a whole heap of planes normal economical planes coming at the same time going really fast and heading rite all in the same direction. We could see them from really far away. They were all so bunched up together coming towards us but they weren't when they got even closer. I was like how come they don't just crash into each other since they r so close. Anyway they all zoomed passed us and continued rite, following the highway. There was a slightly smaller one that went straight into the truck that was on the highway in front of our eyes. I thought it was real and when I mentioned it to Winnie, she was too busy looking and following and getting all amazed at them flying so fast. But I swear, mayb they hadn't noticed but I thought it really happened, coz I saw a ditch in the back of that truck. Tat's all I can remember.
Right we are children again and building stuff
9:38am || 11 January 2010
I was in a team of me, some dude and another girl. In another team was my bro and aaron. 3 against 2 must me coz we suck maybe? We were like playing on 2 mats outside on a street, well sorta, like a path. It was night time. Why the hell were we playing outside on the street like this?? Anywho we raced the other team to complete a puzzle well wasn't a puzzle piece but building a toy. Don't know how many rounds we went through but I think at one of the hardest rounds we had ours was like a puppy dog and theirs was a batmobile. LOL Ours turned out soo kool coz once we finished and we knew it was correct because once u placed the last piece into place the light inside it turned on. And you could see there were people and like a doll house happening inside. I put the final piece in. Really funny coz to actually put the pieces together you had to work on another board and place pieces into that first. So it was like a puzzle within a much larger puzzle. Anywho mayb inspired by Survivor when they were placing puzzle pieces into the right shaped whole.
Fake drill before plane crashed
9:29am || 16 January 2010
Right I was in the car on the road and next to us was the ocean, we were like at a doc or something. I heard a really loud sound coming towards us and I looked out the window and saw a jet star plane (small one) diving down towards the water it almost was gonna go nose first but at last minute it managed to pull up its nose and continue up in the sky on its journey. I was like totally amazed it wasn't even a real one it was one of them fake ones coz they were going thru drill and training. But very good they didn't crash they knew what to do. Then moments later there was another plane it was a quantas and guess what it went straight down into the water. I was shocked. Then it floated back up on shore. And the crew people started the evacuation and opened mini boats at the doorways on the water.
Fake drill before plane crashed
11:04am || 20 January 2010
Went to bed late and didn't wake up till 10am. Thankfully there is a plus, since I was really tired from the workout yesterday, I had a deep sleep and was able to dream. I can remember quite a lot of details this time. Ok so I was shopping with parents and another of her friends and their children. The location could have been Cairns. We were in like this shopping centre that was casino feelish. Like Conrad Jupiters style. We stopped at the food courts and couldn't really decide what to eat. So we went back and fourth, then we stoped at a milk shake place and they ordered one for one of the kids. I was getting really bored and so I took off and said I'd call them later and I will just be walking around having a shop myself. I went to this place and I noticed there was a sizzler here. It looked really nice. Then I saw lifts and stairs next to each other. I waited there and when I went on it I didn't realize it was going down, so went it reached the bottom, I was like nope and stayed on and then the lift went up again, and picked up a bunch of european girls. They were on some holiday or something. Then I followed them onto another lift and got into the car with them. Before I even knew where they were heading I was asking where are you going? They said domestic airport, I was like what the hell I don't need to go there, I'm supposed to stay in the shopping centre. Turns out they were not going to the airport instead to their home. Inside I can't fully remember the details but we shifted chairs and tables and the subject of anatomy was bought up. Yea I know outta all the topics they had to pic anatomy. lol Then I remember speaking to Mandy, although wasn't really sure if it was her. We were in like a surburban dump and her dad was on top of all this rubbish standing next to his jet fighter plane that was painted to army wear. There was a twin jet beside his one. I was like what is your dad doing? Her dad was like someday mandy is gonna take you up on this, so you can get a real thrill!
Angela Dancing and guitar breaking, praying?
1:01pm || 24 January 2010
Right I totally remembered I was in my room, door closed and I was about to practice guitar when I pulled it out from my wardrobe and I noticed a 2 strings were really loose and also that the handle was snapped and broken. I was shocked how could this happen. Told dad how can we fix this and I was like OMG now I can't play for a long time and was like this is only like a year old guitar what the hell? I panicked and was like thank god I didn't really break the guitar in reality. Another part of the dream was just way weird. We were having another picnic yep on the grass beside the dock, I just can't understand why all these dreams are about bayside water and oh yes its coz holidays.. haha Me and Angela S were going to take a tour at the underwater walk where there were glass windows and fishes and all sorts of marine life you could see. Then we ended up at this weird pray ceremony even worst it was in a tight crammed place like the staircase in the movie My neighbour totoro. So wicked. and there were candles lid alll around as well. Ok this is getting way too weird.
Cairns Nightmare dream
10:18am || 31 January 2010
This dream was pretty much our trip to cairns gone wrong. Brisbane was just next to cairns and only separated by ocean water. Very scary because our adventure in cairns was turned into not being able to come back to Brisbane. Connecting Brisbane to Cairns was this one highway and it sank, broke down. It just divided and wasn't strong and there were police patrolling cars and boats coz some people were over hanging over the bridge and almost cars going down and trucks into the water. We had no idea how it happened. But apparently Cairns was turning not into a holiday destination but an unsafe sinking island. We went back into the heart of the cairns city and it looked like las vegas only there was no body there, everyone had just disappeared and we were quite shocked coz we didn't know where to go, if we couldn't go back to brisbane this way. We panicked coz we just had no idea of how to get home. We looked for helicopters and we managed to book one back in time. With me were the usual cairns holiday people my family excluding bro and grandparents. So scary coz upon arriving at the beach at brisbane, we crashed, how on earth did I know I crashed and died? Must of been my soul still living and witnessing.
Anywho there was plan B and we noticed some people used the skyrail flying boat to cross to cairns, from brisbane, we weren't so sure whether to take that root back. There were a few people who tried to walk across this narrow sand trail back to brisbane, but wat happens during high tied, too unsafe. At last we found our solution. Pay tickets for a speed boat, we went to the dock and everyone on had blue wrist bands and the lady doing the check in was like we can only take a few more. There was way too many people on the speed boat but luckily my mum wipped money at her and she gave us wrist bands, and so we were lucky to be able to get on. Once the boat left for brisbane we were at the scene at the broken bridge to brisbane and we saw this rescue boat had to help this guy who jumped into the water. Anywho I remembered flying past all this horrific scene of the traffic jam and I landed more towards the inner city area. I have no idea how I was flying.
Another section to this dream was I was with Christina and we were going to a lecture room and I had this massive cello, not violin as I got confused with and I couldn't bring it in so the dude told me to leave it outside and so I stood it outside.
Angela Dancing and guitar breaking, praying?
1:01pm || 1 February 2010
Right I totally remembered I was in my room, door closed and I was about to practice guitar when I pulled it out from my wardrobe and I noticed a 2 strings were really loose and also that the handle was snapped and broken. I was shocked how could this happen. Told dad how can we fix this and I was like OMG now I can't play for a long time and was like this is only like a year old guitar what the hell? I panicked and was like thank god I didn't really break the guitar in reality. Another part of the dream was just way weird. We were having another picnic yep on the grass beside the dock, I just can't understand why all these dreams are about bayside water and oh yes its coz holidays.. haha Me and Angela S were going to take a tour at the underwater walk where there were glass windows and fishes and all sorts of marine life you could see. Then we ended up at this weird pray ceremony even worst it was in a tight crammed place like the staircase in the movie My neighbour totoro. So wicked. and there were candles lid alll around as well. Ok this is getting way too weird.
2 dreams in one night thingy
9:47am || 2 February 2010
First one was I was either watching it on tele or actually standing in front of all these people at the front of the lecture room. So it was this game show thingy, well not really it was battle of the minds, event called mind challenge. There were 3 teams and they all sat in their blocks and each block had like 1000 people in it, how on earth did they manage to sit them all down without crowding or stepping over each other. I wouldn't know but people their looked like seniors from high school, by their white uniforms.
Part 2 of dream was dead weird. I was in the dressing room and was asked to put on this ancient Chinese costume and pretend to be someone else, ur royal highness I suppose who knew I was actually being hunted, mayb I was a princess I don't know. Well anyway I was putting on the head gear which was my long hair and it was like orange and blondy wig thingy and I had no idea how to put it on but then some lady came over and helped me put it into place and then straighten it out, there was tonnes braids and they were all loose and needed to be pinned up and ringed near the top. Once I was done I had to walk outside and outside was this nice chinese garden and their was a bridge and all stones and plants and trees around, before I knew it someone caught me and tried to attack me and I was like no I am not the person you are looking for. Before I knew what next I was knocked out and dead?
Panda chermside, piglet chasing me and excercise
8:59am || 3 February 2010
Hmm this was bad and evil dream I'd say. Panda and I were gonna meet at chermside bus stop. But then I forgot about other things I had to do and totally forgot I had told her I'd meet her there. So I quickly texted back and she got it in time and said it's ok. Based on a real life case that was. I felt really bad and kinda worried. I was scared in this other part of the dream which I was running in the dark in ovals and ovals that connected to each other. Then me and someone else was playing this ball game which just required us to throw it to each other and somehow she was able to throw so long over away and it just kept on rolling and rolling and I was chasing after it and it seemed like forever, then it was caught under a car on the highway or a truck perhaps and I was on the path rite next to it hoping it will roll back in, and the piglet snatched it somehow as it was coming towards the side line and we returned back. Another time I remember getting the ball but then the piglet will stare at me for no reason and I had to race it back to return the ball to the next person. I was running up hills small ones but there were many. That piglet was scary it was like grey and looked like babe.
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
Sir Winston Churchill
Two old-time political aides are walking through a shabby, overgrown cemetery, writing down names from the headstones.
One of the men works very fast, stopping only by upright stones where he can read the names clearly.
The other works deliberately, gone from one stone to the next, kneeling down and clearing away the grass and wiping away the grime in order to see the name clearly.
"Why are you spending so much time doing that?" the first man asked.
"I'll tell you," the second man said. "This is a free country with a Constitution and everything. Each one of the people has as much right as the next to cast his vote."
miscellaneous
Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.
Your past is not your potential. In any hour you can choose to liberate the future.
Marilyn Ferguson
An idiot called the airport for flight information. "How long is your flight from Los Angeles to Denver?” he asked. "Just a minute," the pleasant agent replied. "Thank You" he said and hung up.
QUOTE: Kahlil Gibran
"Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy."
-Kahlil Gibran
In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you.
Warren Buffet
+ General JokeToday, Ping Golf announced it is signing Ms. Woods to an multi-million dollar naming and endorsement deal for it’s new line of women’s fairway woods. Their new slogan; “Elin Woods – clubs you can beat Tiger with.”
Falling feels like flying, for a little while.-Jeff Bridges
Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. "Whatl be, boys?"
The first vampire says "Blood. Give me blood."
The second vampire says "I too wish for blood!"
The third vampire says "Give me plasma."
The Bartender smiles and says "Got it. Two bloods, and a blood-light."
Intelligence
f I had 6 hours to cut down a tree I would spend 4 hours sharpening the axe.?br />
- Abraham Lincoln -
An unwritten want is a wish, a dream, a never-happen. The day you put your goal in writing is the day it becomes a commitment that will change your life. Are you ready?
Tom Hopkins
An attorney ran over to the office of his client. “I can’t believe it!” said the angered attorney. “You sent a case of Dom Perignon to the judge in our case? That judge is as straight as an arrow. Now we’re certain to lose this case!” “Relax,” said the client, “I sent it in the prosecutor’s name.”
"Most men lead quiet lives of desperation"
~Henry Thoreou
A guy walks into Dunkin’ Donuts. He says. “Excuse me; miss … how many cups of coffee do you think this thermos will hold?” The girl says, “I think it’s a seven-cup thermos.” The guy says, “All right …. Give me two black, three cream and sugar.”
famous quote
“The only real valuable thing is intuition.”
Albert Einstein
+ General JokeBarack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, "What would you like to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the Obama. "How about What Changes I Should Make To America?" and he smiles. "OK," she says. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don't know sh1t?"
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom. The bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guest sitting in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
Life's little struggles
In life take the road less traveled, as it may be full of trials and tribulations but the reward is far greater once reaching your final destination.
They say that married men live longest. It's ironic, since they're the ones most willing to die.
Control
In this world it is not what we take up but what we give up that makes us right!
Ability is what you're capable of doing.
Motivation determines what you do.
Attitude determines how well you do it.
Lou Holtz
+ General JokeTen Indications of a New Year Hangover:- - You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets.- Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to"Stay still."- Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint.- sThe bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!"- You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.- You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet.- You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible prayingin a fetal position.- Your catch phrase is, "Never again."- You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed.- Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"
After the telephone was installed in her home, the lady called the operator.
“My telephone cord is too long,” she said. “Would you please pull it a little from your end?”
Master "Patience"
Patience is a hard thing to learn but when you master it; a whole new and wonderful world is opened to you.
To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.
Anatole France
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a cat?
A: One is an arrogant creature that will claw you out of house and money, and the other is a cat.
Ball games
I have played Soccer, Tennis, Cricket, Squash, Badminton and the 3 most useful tips that were given to me were: -
- Put all you have into looking for a spot or other such marking on the ball until it leaves your racquet or bat ~ this prevents you taking your eye off the ball.
- It抯 never over 'til it's over ~ no matter what the score is' keep cool and keep up your effort ~ don't let your shoulders drop.
- Keep your cool and don't be tempted to try too hard, 95% of mistakes are caused by trying too hard. You must practice everyday until you are able to relax and let your body do what it wants to do.
What brought these to my attention, and were emphasized in a Bob Harman tennis book, was that I played my best tennis shots when we were knocking up, when the service was out and other such stress free moments.
You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you. If you don't have that kind of feeling for what it is you are doing, you'll stop at the first giant hurdle.
George Lucas
Sir Winston Churchill
Two old-time political aides are walking through a shabby, overgrown cemetery, writing down names from the headstones.
One of the men works very fast, stopping only by upright stones where he can read the names clearly.
The other works deliberately, gone from one stone to the next, kneeling down and clearing away the grass and wiping away the grime in order to see the name clearly.
"Why are you spending so much time doing that?" the first man asked.
"I'll tell you," the second man said. "This is a free country with a Constitution and everything. Each one of the people has as much right as the next to cast his vote."
miscellaneous
Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.
Your past is not your potential. In any hour you can choose to liberate the future.
Marilyn Ferguson
An idiot called the airport for flight information. "How long is your flight from Los Angeles to Denver?” he asked. "Just a minute," the pleasant agent replied. "Thank You" he said and hung up.
QUOTE: Kahlil Gibran
"Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy."
-Kahlil Gibran
In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you.
Warren Buffet
+ General JokeToday, Ping Golf announced it is signing Ms. Woods to an multi-million dollar naming and endorsement deal for it’s new line of women’s fairway woods. Their new slogan; “Elin Woods – clubs you can beat Tiger with.”
Falling feels like flying, for a little while.-Jeff Bridges
Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. "Whatl be, boys?"
The first vampire says "Blood. Give me blood."
The second vampire says "I too wish for blood!"
The third vampire says "Give me plasma."
The Bartender smiles and says "Got it. Two bloods, and a blood-light."
Intelligence
f I had 6 hours to cut down a tree I would spend 4 hours sharpening the axe.?br />
- Abraham Lincoln -
An unwritten want is a wish, a dream, a never-happen. The day you put your goal in writing is the day it becomes a commitment that will change your life. Are you ready?
Tom Hopkins
An attorney ran over to the office of his client. “I can’t believe it!” said the angered attorney. “You sent a case of Dom Perignon to the judge in our case? That judge is as straight as an arrow. Now we’re certain to lose this case!” “Relax,” said the client, “I sent it in the prosecutor’s name.”
"Most men lead quiet lives of desperation"
~Henry Thoreou
A guy walks into Dunkin’ Donuts. He says. “Excuse me; miss … how many cups of coffee do you think this thermos will hold?” The girl says, “I think it’s a seven-cup thermos.” The guy says, “All right …. Give me two black, three cream and sugar.”
famous quote
“The only real valuable thing is intuition.”
Albert Einstein
+ General JokeBarack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, "What would you like to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the Obama. "How about What Changes I Should Make To America?" and he smiles. "OK," she says. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don't know sh1t?"
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom. The bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guest sitting in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
Life's little struggles
In life take the road less traveled, as it may be full of trials and tribulations but the reward is far greater once reaching your final destination.
They say that married men live longest. It's ironic, since they're the ones most willing to die.
Control
In this world it is not what we take up but what we give up that makes us right!
Ability is what you're capable of doing.
Motivation determines what you do.
Attitude determines how well you do it.
Lou Holtz
+ General JokeTen Indications of a New Year Hangover:- - You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets.- Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to"Stay still."- Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint.- sThe bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!"- You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.- You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet.- You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible prayingin a fetal position.- Your catch phrase is, "Never again."- You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed.- Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"
After the telephone was installed in her home, the lady called the operator.
“My telephone cord is too long,” she said. “Would you please pull it a little from your end?”
Master "Patience"
Patience is a hard thing to learn but when you master it; a whole new and wonderful world is opened to you.
To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.
Anatole France
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a cat?
A: One is an arrogant creature that will claw you out of house and money, and the other is a cat.
Ball games
I have played Soccer, Tennis, Cricket, Squash, Badminton and the 3 most useful tips that were given to me were: -
- Put all you have into looking for a spot or other such marking on the ball until it leaves your racquet or bat ~ this prevents you taking your eye off the ball.
- It抯 never over 'til it's over ~ no matter what the score is' keep cool and keep up your effort ~ don't let your shoulders drop.
- Keep your cool and don't be tempted to try too hard, 95% of mistakes are caused by trying too hard. You must practice everyday until you are able to relax and let your body do what it wants to do.
What brought these to my attention, and were emphasized in a Bob Harman tennis book, was that I played my best tennis shots when we were knocking up, when the service was out and other such stress free moments.
You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you. If you don't have that kind of feeling for what it is you are doing, you'll stop at the first giant hurdle.
George Lucas
It is difficult to know what counts in the world. Most of us count credits, honor, dollars. But at the bulging center of mid-life, I am beginning to see that the things that really matter take place not in the boardrooms, but in the kitchens of the world.
Gary Allen Sledge
+ General JokeHow nations deal with terrorist threats The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the English issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots raised their threat level from "P1ssed Off" to "Let's get the B3stards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. And in the southern hemisphere... New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!" Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us". Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
Trying to come to the aid of his Dad, who was stopped by an officer for speeding, the mischievous child piped up, “Yeah? Well, if we were speeding, so were you!”
IS THIS THE PATH OF THE FUTURE?
At one time it was believed that if a better mousetrap were invented, the world would beat a path to the inventor’s door; this is not true today; if a better mousetrap were invented today, the inventor would also need a better infomercial for late night TV.
A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails
Pioneer Girls Leaders' Handbook
"Whom would you like to invite for your upcoming wedding ceremony?" Father asked his son
"All except you and mom" the Son replied
"But why" Father angrily shouted
"Had you bothered to invite me for your ceremony!" the Son pleaded.
Another of Sam's
"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper that it's written on"
- Samuel Goldwyn -
Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worth while achievement.
Henry Ford
+ General JokeA teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. '"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values." They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.
A politician was walking home from the county courthouse the evening of Election Day when he came upon a young boy sitting on the curb, bawling his eyes out.
"Why are you crying?" the politician asked.
"My dad died," the boy replied.
"That's terrible, when did it happen?"
"Five years ago," the boy said.
"Five years ago? And you are still this upset?"
"It's not that," the boy said. "It's just that my dad voted today, but he didn't come to see me."
Words
Keep your words soft and sweet.......You may eat them some day.
Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens.
Douglas Jerrould
There has never been a better time to saddle the naked ambition of the entrepreneur. - Venture Capitalist Tim Draper, 1996 Reminder: Free reading of new musical comedy "Dot Comet" today (Monday 1/18) at 4pm Woolly Mammoth Theater641 D St. NW Washington, DC
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
Appreciating differences
In an emotionally developed family, differences between family members are not only appreciated but also encouraged. Consequently, if one member of the family wants to do something that the others have never done before, they are open to the idea without being critical. Being open to new ideas and experiences allows the family unit to grow and have the greatest emotional development.
Sign in a Police Station: It takes about 3500 bolts to put a car together; but only one nut to scatter it all over the road.
An Irish Toast
May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live
A man owned a very intelligent dog so, after a long period of time, taught him how to play poker. The dog did very well and won a lot of pots until the owner had to pull him out of the games. “He realized that whenever the dog held a really good hand he wagged his tail.”
Break ups
The hardest thing about breaking up is not the point that its over,
but the reason why it's over!
General JokeIt is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal. Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question." Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln." Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home." Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first. Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King." Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go." Johnny is even madder than before. Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy." Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave." Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions. When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bit ches would keep their mouths shut!" The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?" Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
The undertaker called the next of kin to confirm the funeral arrangements desired for the dear departed. As luck would have it the son-in-law who was actually delighted to be red of the old battle-ax answered the phone.
“We’re sorry to disturb you in this time of personal grief,” the undertaker uttered solemnly, “but appears to be some confusion as to whether the body of the loved one is to be buried or cremated.”
“Let’s not take any chances,” “Do both” said the son-in-law.
We need sleep!
By Cathryn Conroy, Netscape News Editor
...you could be sleep deprived and putting yourself at risk for an early death. That stunning conclusion was reached by researchers at Penn State College of Medicine, who determined that when we get just six hours of sleep a night, we are actually sleep deprived. And sleep deprivation not only makes us sleepy during the day and decreases our productivity and performance levels, but also promotes the potentially dangerous process of inflammation. Inflammation of this sort can lead to a variety of problems, including heart disease and hardening of the arteries, reports WebMD.
Previous studies have examined the effects of severe sleep deprivation, which is five hours or less of sleep. This one looked at the effects of modest sleep restriction, something that many people live with day in and day out in order to meet the pressing demands of work and family. The levels of inflammatory factors skyrocketed in the 25 study volunteers--who spent 12 consecutive nights in a sleep laboratory--when they had just six hours of sleep, compared with eight hours. So when you pass up sleep to watch more television, talk to your spouse, or clean the house, you are putting yourself at risk for cardiovascular disease and osteoporosis.
Gary Allen Sledge
+ General JokeHow nations deal with terrorist threats The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the English issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots raised their threat level from "P1ssed Off" to "Let's get the B3stards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. And in the southern hemisphere... New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!" Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us". Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
Trying to come to the aid of his Dad, who was stopped by an officer for speeding, the mischievous child piped up, “Yeah? Well, if we were speeding, so were you!”
IS THIS THE PATH OF THE FUTURE?
At one time it was believed that if a better mousetrap were invented, the world would beat a path to the inventor’s door; this is not true today; if a better mousetrap were invented today, the inventor would also need a better infomercial for late night TV.
A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails
Pioneer Girls Leaders' Handbook
"Whom would you like to invite for your upcoming wedding ceremony?" Father asked his son
"All except you and mom" the Son replied
"But why" Father angrily shouted
"Had you bothered to invite me for your ceremony!" the Son pleaded.
Another of Sam's
"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper that it's written on"
- Samuel Goldwyn -
Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worth while achievement.
Henry Ford
+ General JokeA teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. '"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values." They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.
A politician was walking home from the county courthouse the evening of Election Day when he came upon a young boy sitting on the curb, bawling his eyes out.
"Why are you crying?" the politician asked.
"My dad died," the boy replied.
"That's terrible, when did it happen?"
"Five years ago," the boy said.
"Five years ago? And you are still this upset?"
"It's not that," the boy said. "It's just that my dad voted today, but he didn't come to see me."
Words
Keep your words soft and sweet.......You may eat them some day.
Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens.
Douglas Jerrould
There has never been a better time to saddle the naked ambition of the entrepreneur. - Venture Capitalist Tim Draper, 1996 Reminder: Free reading of new musical comedy "Dot Comet" today (Monday 1/18) at 4pm Woolly Mammoth Theater641 D St. NW Washington, DC
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
Appreciating differences
In an emotionally developed family, differences between family members are not only appreciated but also encouraged. Consequently, if one member of the family wants to do something that the others have never done before, they are open to the idea without being critical. Being open to new ideas and experiences allows the family unit to grow and have the greatest emotional development.
Sign in a Police Station: It takes about 3500 bolts to put a car together; but only one nut to scatter it all over the road.
An Irish Toast
May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live
A man owned a very intelligent dog so, after a long period of time, taught him how to play poker. The dog did very well and won a lot of pots until the owner had to pull him out of the games. “He realized that whenever the dog held a really good hand he wagged his tail.”
Break ups
The hardest thing about breaking up is not the point that its over,
but the reason why it's over!
General JokeIt is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal. Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question." Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln." Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home." Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first. Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King." Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go." Johnny is even madder than before. Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy." Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave." Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions. When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bit ches would keep their mouths shut!" The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?" Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
The undertaker called the next of kin to confirm the funeral arrangements desired for the dear departed. As luck would have it the son-in-law who was actually delighted to be red of the old battle-ax answered the phone.
“We’re sorry to disturb you in this time of personal grief,” the undertaker uttered solemnly, “but appears to be some confusion as to whether the body of the loved one is to be buried or cremated.”
“Let’s not take any chances,” “Do both” said the son-in-law.
We need sleep!
By Cathryn Conroy, Netscape News Editor
...you could be sleep deprived and putting yourself at risk for an early death. That stunning conclusion was reached by researchers at Penn State College of Medicine, who determined that when we get just six hours of sleep a night, we are actually sleep deprived. And sleep deprivation not only makes us sleepy during the day and decreases our productivity and performance levels, but also promotes the potentially dangerous process of inflammation. Inflammation of this sort can lead to a variety of problems, including heart disease and hardening of the arteries, reports WebMD.
Previous studies have examined the effects of severe sleep deprivation, which is five hours or less of sleep. This one looked at the effects of modest sleep restriction, something that many people live with day in and day out in order to meet the pressing demands of work and family. The levels of inflammatory factors skyrocketed in the 25 study volunteers--who spent 12 consecutive nights in a sleep laboratory--when they had just six hours of sleep, compared with eight hours. So when you pass up sleep to watch more television, talk to your spouse, or clean the house, you are putting yourself at risk for cardiovascular disease and osteoporosis.
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