Both Angelas again doing the round up back flip?
8:02am || 2 January 2010
Unbelievable, what a dream it was. One part of the dream was that one angela as we were heading out of the school gate, demonstarted to me how to do the back flip and when I saw it it was perfect and I'm thinking when did she learn that. I kept asking where you go to learn that but she just kept laughing and didn't say anything. Another dream was getting my turn and remember being in a toilet
I am like a spy in a movie again?
9:47pm || 5 January 2010
I am like a secret agent of some sort and I play behind the scenes, I am like the spy and on a mission to protect someone? This person looks so similar to me, almost like an identical twin but not, had short hair, was like I was spying on her in this spacecraft, and I knew someone was after to catch her, some really weird looking guy but a monster face?? I was in the same room, of this spacecraft and I was overlooking everything, I was like rite next to them and they had no clue and could not hear or smell that I was right in front of them. So weird. I don't know what she was doing in that room, but judging by her movements, she was looking for something but obviously totally unaware that someone was after her. Then she left and I was like I sense something is really wrong. Someone came moments later she left, the monster scary looking dude, the aircraft and didn't stay to long the beast either and quickly headed off.
Then we are at another scene, outdoor, outside it was like a snow skating rink. Funny it wasn't cold for me but I secured my place as the onlooker from behind the hilly white snows. The girl was just skating I believe, doing nofing much and then the monster appears suddenly behind her, she didn't even notice, he was racing coming up really quickly behind her. So scary I was scared for the girl, I tried to scream, don't know if they would hear me or if I lurred the monster in for myself, anyway I needed to do something fast and get her attention knowing there is a beast heading straight for her. I yelled to get her attention something like 'watch out' 'behind you' I shouted and she turned and noticed me and the monster running towards her. Suddenly something appeared out of nowhere, it was like a spirit stick with magical powers just blasted from ice near her, I think it came from below the ice on the rink. Anyway it was her chance and so she grabed the stick and threw it towards the monster. I couldn't believe it, it was a good throw and caused sick ass damage. Then I can't remember anything else. Maybe a huge flash of light. Had no idea what happened next.
parachutes, emo girl
4:15pm || 7 January 2010
OMGee. This was a good dream but not good. We had class but then outside we could see the beautiful ocean and beachside front. WTH we came out and saw all these parachutes falling from the sky everywhere, some failed to open but most did and people were landing on the water. I had no idea wat on earth was going on. Maybe this dream was triggered by air crash investigation? I iono. I clearly remembered someone saying to me, I think it was high school Rachel, during the time I was out of class. It was weird everyone in class was in a dark room and suddenly you come out and you're blessed with beautiful scenes and wind and nice sunshine. I think it may have been Rachel who told me this: there is this smart girl, a big scholarship winner, good grades etc and everyone loves her, and she has turned emo. Nobody wants to be around her, she is dangerous. She is now a rebel and do very evil things. I asked questions like has anyone seem her and talked to her? No she said and she didn't even know. I didn't know whether to believe her or not, but the way she told me this fact was really freaking me out inside the dream. Man I was real scared.
dinner with hk celebs, lunch with random mates? planes and lollies
10:54am || 8 January 2010
OMGee. How can I remember this dream.. oh yea coz I slept in so late. Anywho at least it wasn't creepy. Man I did talk a lot in this dream. Well I clearly remember having dinner with hong kong celebrities at some high class fancy restaurant, kinda like the style tat was at The Mariot Hotel. Pretty awesome. It was as big as tat. Can't remember how I was dressed but I think casual smart, coz I remember there were a few who were in extremely strictly evening wear and dresses, or mayb it was cocktail style anyway tat was not my centre of attention. My centre of attention were all the celebrities. I was seated with mum and some other guests and like directly opposite me was Charlene Choi and Joey Yung both from EEG. We were eating entree and chatting. I got so excited coz not only was I in a place surrounded by celebs and only for them to eat but I ws meeting my idol Ah Sa. So I got pretty busy with the questions. I was throwing alot of questions towards joey yung for some reason and don't remember any going towards Ah Sa. Ok So I was saying to her, I'm following you on twitter? Do you have twitter? Is it really you on twitter? She goes no I don't have a twitter.. it's a fake. I'm like really? That means someone is faking you. Then she goes its a joke. I was like well I'm also following bernice liu, is it the real her on twitter? Is she here tonight. Then I say I'm following Samuel Chan and I know for real that is his twitter. I tried to remember some other people as well but and thought of denise ho, but didn't get a chance to ask. We all headed out.. for some reason and I just followed. On the way out I saw Samuel Chan he was at another table with another mate. When we went back in the room I was seated not with my mum this time but next to Charlene at another different table and she was next to Joey of course. She was constantly chatting to Joey and I was trying to get her attention. I had no idea what everything or everyone was doing. What was going on. We were getting served our main course. Seems to me it was just potatoes?? Anywayz I was like to Charlene wacking her shoulder saying how come you don't have a twitter? Everyone in HK who is famous is on it, you should get one. She still ignored me. Then turned around to me confirming the meal we were getting.
Part 2 of the dream was this. We were having a picnic on grass next to a main road, well really close to it. Before that we collected some food and then I had to find my group to sit at and ended up with the mixed friends group. Like the group consisted of my life friends I've been in contact with since I was very little or older. I remember there were 2 people that were clear to me in this group. That was Jeremy F from primary school and Winnie L from church. Winnie was next to me on the rite and Jeremy was directly opposite. I had some lollies with me in a bucket, and I had to of them so I passed them around. I noticed Winnie and her friends which I didn't know were scattering digging rite to the bottom of the box to get the good lollies.. I didn't know they were after the good ones, which were at the bottom. Not long after there were a whole heap of planes normal economical planes coming at the same time going really fast and heading rite all in the same direction. We could see them from really far away. They were all so bunched up together coming towards us but they weren't when they got even closer. I was like how come they don't just crash into each other since they r so close. Anyway they all zoomed passed us and continued rite, following the highway. There was a slightly smaller one that went straight into the truck that was on the highway in front of our eyes. I thought it was real and when I mentioned it to Winnie, she was too busy looking and following and getting all amazed at them flying so fast. But I swear, mayb they hadn't noticed but I thought it really happened, coz I saw a ditch in the back of that truck. Tat's all I can remember.
Right we are children again and building stuff
9:38am || 11 January 2010
I was in a team of me, some dude and another girl. In another team was my bro and aaron. 3 against 2 must me coz we suck maybe? We were like playing on 2 mats outside on a street, well sorta, like a path. It was night time. Why the hell were we playing outside on the street like this?? Anywho we raced the other team to complete a puzzle well wasn't a puzzle piece but building a toy. Don't know how many rounds we went through but I think at one of the hardest rounds we had ours was like a puppy dog and theirs was a batmobile. LOL Ours turned out soo kool coz once we finished and we knew it was correct because once u placed the last piece into place the light inside it turned on. And you could see there were people and like a doll house happening inside. I put the final piece in. Really funny coz to actually put the pieces together you had to work on another board and place pieces into that first. So it was like a puzzle within a much larger puzzle. Anywho mayb inspired by Survivor when they were placing puzzle pieces into the right shaped whole.
Fake drill before plane crashed
9:29am || 16 January 2010
Right I was in the car on the road and next to us was the ocean, we were like at a doc or something. I heard a really loud sound coming towards us and I looked out the window and saw a jet star plane (small one) diving down towards the water it almost was gonna go nose first but at last minute it managed to pull up its nose and continue up in the sky on its journey. I was like totally amazed it wasn't even a real one it was one of them fake ones coz they were going thru drill and training. But very good they didn't crash they knew what to do. Then moments later there was another plane it was a quantas and guess what it went straight down into the water. I was shocked. Then it floated back up on shore. And the crew people started the evacuation and opened mini boats at the doorways on the water.
Fake drill before plane crashed
11:04am || 20 January 2010
Went to bed late and didn't wake up till 10am. Thankfully there is a plus, since I was really tired from the workout yesterday, I had a deep sleep and was able to dream. I can remember quite a lot of details this time. Ok so I was shopping with parents and another of her friends and their children. The location could have been Cairns. We were in like this shopping centre that was casino feelish. Like Conrad Jupiters style. We stopped at the food courts and couldn't really decide what to eat. So we went back and fourth, then we stoped at a milk shake place and they ordered one for one of the kids. I was getting really bored and so I took off and said I'd call them later and I will just be walking around having a shop myself. I went to this place and I noticed there was a sizzler here. It looked really nice. Then I saw lifts and stairs next to each other. I waited there and when I went on it I didn't realize it was going down, so went it reached the bottom, I was like nope and stayed on and then the lift went up again, and picked up a bunch of european girls. They were on some holiday or something. Then I followed them onto another lift and got into the car with them. Before I even knew where they were heading I was asking where are you going? They said domestic airport, I was like what the hell I don't need to go there, I'm supposed to stay in the shopping centre. Turns out they were not going to the airport instead to their home. Inside I can't fully remember the details but we shifted chairs and tables and the subject of anatomy was bought up. Yea I know outta all the topics they had to pic anatomy. lol Then I remember speaking to Mandy, although wasn't really sure if it was her. We were in like a surburban dump and her dad was on top of all this rubbish standing next to his jet fighter plane that was painted to army wear. There was a twin jet beside his one. I was like what is your dad doing? Her dad was like someday mandy is gonna take you up on this, so you can get a real thrill!
Angela Dancing and guitar breaking, praying?
1:01pm || 24 January 2010
Right I totally remembered I was in my room, door closed and I was about to practice guitar when I pulled it out from my wardrobe and I noticed a 2 strings were really loose and also that the handle was snapped and broken. I was shocked how could this happen. Told dad how can we fix this and I was like OMG now I can't play for a long time and was like this is only like a year old guitar what the hell? I panicked and was like thank god I didn't really break the guitar in reality. Another part of the dream was just way weird. We were having another picnic yep on the grass beside the dock, I just can't understand why all these dreams are about bayside water and oh yes its coz holidays.. haha Me and Angela S were going to take a tour at the underwater walk where there were glass windows and fishes and all sorts of marine life you could see. Then we ended up at this weird pray ceremony even worst it was in a tight crammed place like the staircase in the movie My neighbour totoro. So wicked. and there were candles lid alll around as well. Ok this is getting way too weird.
Cairns Nightmare dream
10:18am || 31 January 2010
This dream was pretty much our trip to cairns gone wrong. Brisbane was just next to cairns and only separated by ocean water. Very scary because our adventure in cairns was turned into not being able to come back to Brisbane. Connecting Brisbane to Cairns was this one highway and it sank, broke down. It just divided and wasn't strong and there were police patrolling cars and boats coz some people were over hanging over the bridge and almost cars going down and trucks into the water. We had no idea how it happened. But apparently Cairns was turning not into a holiday destination but an unsafe sinking island. We went back into the heart of the cairns city and it looked like las vegas only there was no body there, everyone had just disappeared and we were quite shocked coz we didn't know where to go, if we couldn't go back to brisbane this way. We panicked coz we just had no idea of how to get home. We looked for helicopters and we managed to book one back in time. With me were the usual cairns holiday people my family excluding bro and grandparents. So scary coz upon arriving at the beach at brisbane, we crashed, how on earth did I know I crashed and died? Must of been my soul still living and witnessing.
Anywho there was plan B and we noticed some people used the skyrail flying boat to cross to cairns, from brisbane, we weren't so sure whether to take that root back. There were a few people who tried to walk across this narrow sand trail back to brisbane, but wat happens during high tied, too unsafe. At last we found our solution. Pay tickets for a speed boat, we went to the dock and everyone on had blue wrist bands and the lady doing the check in was like we can only take a few more. There was way too many people on the speed boat but luckily my mum wipped money at her and she gave us wrist bands, and so we were lucky to be able to get on. Once the boat left for brisbane we were at the scene at the broken bridge to brisbane and we saw this rescue boat had to help this guy who jumped into the water. Anywho I remembered flying past all this horrific scene of the traffic jam and I landed more towards the inner city area. I have no idea how I was flying.
Another section to this dream was I was with Christina and we were going to a lecture room and I had this massive cello, not violin as I got confused with and I couldn't bring it in so the dude told me to leave it outside and so I stood it outside.
Angela Dancing and guitar breaking, praying?
1:01pm || 1 February 2010
Right I totally remembered I was in my room, door closed and I was about to practice guitar when I pulled it out from my wardrobe and I noticed a 2 strings were really loose and also that the handle was snapped and broken. I was shocked how could this happen. Told dad how can we fix this and I was like OMG now I can't play for a long time and was like this is only like a year old guitar what the hell? I panicked and was like thank god I didn't really break the guitar in reality. Another part of the dream was just way weird. We were having another picnic yep on the grass beside the dock, I just can't understand why all these dreams are about bayside water and oh yes its coz holidays.. haha Me and Angela S were going to take a tour at the underwater walk where there were glass windows and fishes and all sorts of marine life you could see. Then we ended up at this weird pray ceremony even worst it was in a tight crammed place like the staircase in the movie My neighbour totoro. So wicked. and there were candles lid alll around as well. Ok this is getting way too weird.
2 dreams in one night thingy
9:47am || 2 February 2010
First one was I was either watching it on tele or actually standing in front of all these people at the front of the lecture room. So it was this game show thingy, well not really it was battle of the minds, event called mind challenge. There were 3 teams and they all sat in their blocks and each block had like 1000 people in it, how on earth did they manage to sit them all down without crowding or stepping over each other. I wouldn't know but people their looked like seniors from high school, by their white uniforms.
Part 2 of dream was dead weird. I was in the dressing room and was asked to put on this ancient Chinese costume and pretend to be someone else, ur royal highness I suppose who knew I was actually being hunted, mayb I was a princess I don't know. Well anyway I was putting on the head gear which was my long hair and it was like orange and blondy wig thingy and I had no idea how to put it on but then some lady came over and helped me put it into place and then straighten it out, there was tonnes braids and they were all loose and needed to be pinned up and ringed near the top. Once I was done I had to walk outside and outside was this nice chinese garden and their was a bridge and all stones and plants and trees around, before I knew it someone caught me and tried to attack me and I was like no I am not the person you are looking for. Before I knew what next I was knocked out and dead?
Panda chermside, piglet chasing me and excercise
8:59am || 3 February 2010
Hmm this was bad and evil dream I'd say. Panda and I were gonna meet at chermside bus stop. But then I forgot about other things I had to do and totally forgot I had told her I'd meet her there. So I quickly texted back and she got it in time and said it's ok. Based on a real life case that was. I felt really bad and kinda worried. I was scared in this other part of the dream which I was running in the dark in ovals and ovals that connected to each other. Then me and someone else was playing this ball game which just required us to throw it to each other and somehow she was able to throw so long over away and it just kept on rolling and rolling and I was chasing after it and it seemed like forever, then it was caught under a car on the highway or a truck perhaps and I was on the path rite next to it hoping it will roll back in, and the piglet snatched it somehow as it was coming towards the side line and we returned back. Another time I remember getting the ball but then the piglet will stare at me for no reason and I had to race it back to return the ball to the next person. I was running up hills small ones but there were many. That piglet was scary it was like grey and looked like babe.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
Sir Winston Churchill
Two old-time political aides are walking through a shabby, overgrown cemetery, writing down names from the headstones.
One of the men works very fast, stopping only by upright stones where he can read the names clearly.
The other works deliberately, gone from one stone to the next, kneeling down and clearing away the grass and wiping away the grime in order to see the name clearly.
"Why are you spending so much time doing that?" the first man asked.
"I'll tell you," the second man said. "This is a free country with a Constitution and everything. Each one of the people has as much right as the next to cast his vote."
miscellaneous
Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.
Your past is not your potential. In any hour you can choose to liberate the future.
Marilyn Ferguson
An idiot called the airport for flight information. "How long is your flight from Los Angeles to Denver?” he asked. "Just a minute," the pleasant agent replied. "Thank You" he said and hung up.
QUOTE: Kahlil Gibran
"Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy."
-Kahlil Gibran
In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you.
Warren Buffet
+ General JokeToday, Ping Golf announced it is signing Ms. Woods to an multi-million dollar naming and endorsement deal for it’s new line of women’s fairway woods. Their new slogan; “Elin Woods – clubs you can beat Tiger with.”
Falling feels like flying, for a little while.-Jeff Bridges
Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. "Whatl be, boys?"
The first vampire says "Blood. Give me blood."
The second vampire says "I too wish for blood!"
The third vampire says "Give me plasma."
The Bartender smiles and says "Got it. Two bloods, and a blood-light."
Intelligence
f I had 6 hours to cut down a tree I would spend 4 hours sharpening the axe.?br />
- Abraham Lincoln -
An unwritten want is a wish, a dream, a never-happen. The day you put your goal in writing is the day it becomes a commitment that will change your life. Are you ready?
Tom Hopkins
An attorney ran over to the office of his client. “I can’t believe it!” said the angered attorney. “You sent a case of Dom Perignon to the judge in our case? That judge is as straight as an arrow. Now we’re certain to lose this case!” “Relax,” said the client, “I sent it in the prosecutor’s name.”
"Most men lead quiet lives of desperation"
~Henry Thoreou
A guy walks into Dunkin’ Donuts. He says. “Excuse me; miss … how many cups of coffee do you think this thermos will hold?” The girl says, “I think it’s a seven-cup thermos.” The guy says, “All right …. Give me two black, three cream and sugar.”
famous quote
“The only real valuable thing is intuition.”
Albert Einstein
+ General JokeBarack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, "What would you like to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the Obama. "How about What Changes I Should Make To America?" and he smiles. "OK," she says. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don't know sh1t?"
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom. The bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guest sitting in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
Life's little struggles
In life take the road less traveled, as it may be full of trials and tribulations but the reward is far greater once reaching your final destination.
They say that married men live longest. It's ironic, since they're the ones most willing to die.
Control
In this world it is not what we take up but what we give up that makes us right!
Ability is what you're capable of doing.
Motivation determines what you do.
Attitude determines how well you do it.
Lou Holtz
+ General JokeTen Indications of a New Year Hangover:- - You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets.- Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to"Stay still."- Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint.- sThe bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!"- You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.- You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet.- You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible prayingin a fetal position.- Your catch phrase is, "Never again."- You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed.- Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"
After the telephone was installed in her home, the lady called the operator.
“My telephone cord is too long,” she said. “Would you please pull it a little from your end?”
Master "Patience"
Patience is a hard thing to learn but when you master it; a whole new and wonderful world is opened to you.
To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.
Anatole France
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a cat?
A: One is an arrogant creature that will claw you out of house and money, and the other is a cat.
Ball games
I have played Soccer, Tennis, Cricket, Squash, Badminton and the 3 most useful tips that were given to me were: -
- Put all you have into looking for a spot or other such marking on the ball until it leaves your racquet or bat ~ this prevents you taking your eye off the ball.
- It抯 never over 'til it's over ~ no matter what the score is' keep cool and keep up your effort ~ don't let your shoulders drop.
- Keep your cool and don't be tempted to try too hard, 95% of mistakes are caused by trying too hard. You must practice everyday until you are able to relax and let your body do what it wants to do.
What brought these to my attention, and were emphasized in a Bob Harman tennis book, was that I played my best tennis shots when we were knocking up, when the service was out and other such stress free moments.
You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you. If you don't have that kind of feeling for what it is you are doing, you'll stop at the first giant hurdle.
George Lucas
Sir Winston Churchill
Two old-time political aides are walking through a shabby, overgrown cemetery, writing down names from the headstones.
One of the men works very fast, stopping only by upright stones where he can read the names clearly.
The other works deliberately, gone from one stone to the next, kneeling down and clearing away the grass and wiping away the grime in order to see the name clearly.
"Why are you spending so much time doing that?" the first man asked.
"I'll tell you," the second man said. "This is a free country with a Constitution and everything. Each one of the people has as much right as the next to cast his vote."
miscellaneous
Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.
Your past is not your potential. In any hour you can choose to liberate the future.
Marilyn Ferguson
An idiot called the airport for flight information. "How long is your flight from Los Angeles to Denver?” he asked. "Just a minute," the pleasant agent replied. "Thank You" he said and hung up.
QUOTE: Kahlil Gibran
"Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy."
-Kahlil Gibran
In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you.
Warren Buffet
+ General JokeToday, Ping Golf announced it is signing Ms. Woods to an multi-million dollar naming and endorsement deal for it’s new line of women’s fairway woods. Their new slogan; “Elin Woods – clubs you can beat Tiger with.”
Falling feels like flying, for a little while.-Jeff Bridges
Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. "Whatl be, boys?"
The first vampire says "Blood. Give me blood."
The second vampire says "I too wish for blood!"
The third vampire says "Give me plasma."
The Bartender smiles and says "Got it. Two bloods, and a blood-light."
Intelligence
f I had 6 hours to cut down a tree I would spend 4 hours sharpening the axe.?br />
- Abraham Lincoln -
An unwritten want is a wish, a dream, a never-happen. The day you put your goal in writing is the day it becomes a commitment that will change your life. Are you ready?
Tom Hopkins
An attorney ran over to the office of his client. “I can’t believe it!” said the angered attorney. “You sent a case of Dom Perignon to the judge in our case? That judge is as straight as an arrow. Now we’re certain to lose this case!” “Relax,” said the client, “I sent it in the prosecutor’s name.”
"Most men lead quiet lives of desperation"
~Henry Thoreou
A guy walks into Dunkin’ Donuts. He says. “Excuse me; miss … how many cups of coffee do you think this thermos will hold?” The girl says, “I think it’s a seven-cup thermos.” The guy says, “All right …. Give me two black, three cream and sugar.”
famous quote
“The only real valuable thing is intuition.”
Albert Einstein
+ General JokeBarack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, "What would you like to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the Obama. "How about What Changes I Should Make To America?" and he smiles. "OK," she says. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don't know sh1t?"
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom. The bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guest sitting in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
Life's little struggles
In life take the road less traveled, as it may be full of trials and tribulations but the reward is far greater once reaching your final destination.
They say that married men live longest. It's ironic, since they're the ones most willing to die.
Control
In this world it is not what we take up but what we give up that makes us right!
Ability is what you're capable of doing.
Motivation determines what you do.
Attitude determines how well you do it.
Lou Holtz
+ General JokeTen Indications of a New Year Hangover:- - You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets.- Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to"Stay still."- Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint.- sThe bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!"- You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.- You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet.- You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible prayingin a fetal position.- Your catch phrase is, "Never again."- You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed.- Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"
After the telephone was installed in her home, the lady called the operator.
“My telephone cord is too long,” she said. “Would you please pull it a little from your end?”
Master "Patience"
Patience is a hard thing to learn but when you master it; a whole new and wonderful world is opened to you.
To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.
Anatole France
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a cat?
A: One is an arrogant creature that will claw you out of house and money, and the other is a cat.
Ball games
I have played Soccer, Tennis, Cricket, Squash, Badminton and the 3 most useful tips that were given to me were: -
- Put all you have into looking for a spot or other such marking on the ball until it leaves your racquet or bat ~ this prevents you taking your eye off the ball.
- It抯 never over 'til it's over ~ no matter what the score is' keep cool and keep up your effort ~ don't let your shoulders drop.
- Keep your cool and don't be tempted to try too hard, 95% of mistakes are caused by trying too hard. You must practice everyday until you are able to relax and let your body do what it wants to do.
What brought these to my attention, and were emphasized in a Bob Harman tennis book, was that I played my best tennis shots when we were knocking up, when the service was out and other such stress free moments.
You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you. If you don't have that kind of feeling for what it is you are doing, you'll stop at the first giant hurdle.
George Lucas
It is difficult to know what counts in the world. Most of us count credits, honor, dollars. But at the bulging center of mid-life, I am beginning to see that the things that really matter take place not in the boardrooms, but in the kitchens of the world.
Gary Allen Sledge
+ General JokeHow nations deal with terrorist threats The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the English issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots raised their threat level from "P1ssed Off" to "Let's get the B3stards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. And in the southern hemisphere... New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!" Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us". Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
Trying to come to the aid of his Dad, who was stopped by an officer for speeding, the mischievous child piped up, “Yeah? Well, if we were speeding, so were you!”
IS THIS THE PATH OF THE FUTURE?
At one time it was believed that if a better mousetrap were invented, the world would beat a path to the inventor’s door; this is not true today; if a better mousetrap were invented today, the inventor would also need a better infomercial for late night TV.
A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails
Pioneer Girls Leaders' Handbook
"Whom would you like to invite for your upcoming wedding ceremony?" Father asked his son
"All except you and mom" the Son replied
"But why" Father angrily shouted
"Had you bothered to invite me for your ceremony!" the Son pleaded.
Another of Sam's
"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper that it's written on"
- Samuel Goldwyn -
Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worth while achievement.
Henry Ford
+ General JokeA teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. '"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values." They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.
A politician was walking home from the county courthouse the evening of Election Day when he came upon a young boy sitting on the curb, bawling his eyes out.
"Why are you crying?" the politician asked.
"My dad died," the boy replied.
"That's terrible, when did it happen?"
"Five years ago," the boy said.
"Five years ago? And you are still this upset?"
"It's not that," the boy said. "It's just that my dad voted today, but he didn't come to see me."
Words
Keep your words soft and sweet.......You may eat them some day.
Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens.
Douglas Jerrould
There has never been a better time to saddle the naked ambition of the entrepreneur. - Venture Capitalist Tim Draper, 1996 Reminder: Free reading of new musical comedy "Dot Comet" today (Monday 1/18) at 4pm Woolly Mammoth Theater641 D St. NW Washington, DC
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
Appreciating differences
In an emotionally developed family, differences between family members are not only appreciated but also encouraged. Consequently, if one member of the family wants to do something that the others have never done before, they are open to the idea without being critical. Being open to new ideas and experiences allows the family unit to grow and have the greatest emotional development.
Sign in a Police Station: It takes about 3500 bolts to put a car together; but only one nut to scatter it all over the road.
An Irish Toast
May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live
A man owned a very intelligent dog so, after a long period of time, taught him how to play poker. The dog did very well and won a lot of pots until the owner had to pull him out of the games. “He realized that whenever the dog held a really good hand he wagged his tail.”
Break ups
The hardest thing about breaking up is not the point that its over,
but the reason why it's over!
General JokeIt is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal. Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question." Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln." Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home." Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first. Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King." Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go." Johnny is even madder than before. Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy." Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave." Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions. When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bit ches would keep their mouths shut!" The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?" Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
The undertaker called the next of kin to confirm the funeral arrangements desired for the dear departed. As luck would have it the son-in-law who was actually delighted to be red of the old battle-ax answered the phone.
“We’re sorry to disturb you in this time of personal grief,” the undertaker uttered solemnly, “but appears to be some confusion as to whether the body of the loved one is to be buried or cremated.”
“Let’s not take any chances,” “Do both” said the son-in-law.
We need sleep!
By Cathryn Conroy, Netscape News Editor
...you could be sleep deprived and putting yourself at risk for an early death. That stunning conclusion was reached by researchers at Penn State College of Medicine, who determined that when we get just six hours of sleep a night, we are actually sleep deprived. And sleep deprivation not only makes us sleepy during the day and decreases our productivity and performance levels, but also promotes the potentially dangerous process of inflammation. Inflammation of this sort can lead to a variety of problems, including heart disease and hardening of the arteries, reports WebMD.
Previous studies have examined the effects of severe sleep deprivation, which is five hours or less of sleep. This one looked at the effects of modest sleep restriction, something that many people live with day in and day out in order to meet the pressing demands of work and family. The levels of inflammatory factors skyrocketed in the 25 study volunteers--who spent 12 consecutive nights in a sleep laboratory--when they had just six hours of sleep, compared with eight hours. So when you pass up sleep to watch more television, talk to your spouse, or clean the house, you are putting yourself at risk for cardiovascular disease and osteoporosis.
Gary Allen Sledge
+ General JokeHow nations deal with terrorist threats The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the English issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots raised their threat level from "P1ssed Off" to "Let's get the B3stards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. And in the southern hemisphere... New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!" Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us". Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
Trying to come to the aid of his Dad, who was stopped by an officer for speeding, the mischievous child piped up, “Yeah? Well, if we were speeding, so were you!”
IS THIS THE PATH OF THE FUTURE?
At one time it was believed that if a better mousetrap were invented, the world would beat a path to the inventor’s door; this is not true today; if a better mousetrap were invented today, the inventor would also need a better infomercial for late night TV.
A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails
Pioneer Girls Leaders' Handbook
"Whom would you like to invite for your upcoming wedding ceremony?" Father asked his son
"All except you and mom" the Son replied
"But why" Father angrily shouted
"Had you bothered to invite me for your ceremony!" the Son pleaded.
Another of Sam's
"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper that it's written on"
- Samuel Goldwyn -
Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worth while achievement.
Henry Ford
+ General JokeA teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. '"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values." They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.
A politician was walking home from the county courthouse the evening of Election Day when he came upon a young boy sitting on the curb, bawling his eyes out.
"Why are you crying?" the politician asked.
"My dad died," the boy replied.
"That's terrible, when did it happen?"
"Five years ago," the boy said.
"Five years ago? And you are still this upset?"
"It's not that," the boy said. "It's just that my dad voted today, but he didn't come to see me."
Words
Keep your words soft and sweet.......You may eat them some day.
Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens.
Douglas Jerrould
There has never been a better time to saddle the naked ambition of the entrepreneur. - Venture Capitalist Tim Draper, 1996 Reminder: Free reading of new musical comedy "Dot Comet" today (Monday 1/18) at 4pm Woolly Mammoth Theater641 D St. NW Washington, DC
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
Appreciating differences
In an emotionally developed family, differences between family members are not only appreciated but also encouraged. Consequently, if one member of the family wants to do something that the others have never done before, they are open to the idea without being critical. Being open to new ideas and experiences allows the family unit to grow and have the greatest emotional development.
Sign in a Police Station: It takes about 3500 bolts to put a car together; but only one nut to scatter it all over the road.
An Irish Toast
May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live
A man owned a very intelligent dog so, after a long period of time, taught him how to play poker. The dog did very well and won a lot of pots until the owner had to pull him out of the games. “He realized that whenever the dog held a really good hand he wagged his tail.”
Break ups
The hardest thing about breaking up is not the point that its over,
but the reason why it's over!
General JokeIt is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal. Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question." Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln." Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home." Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first. Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King." Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go." Johnny is even madder than before. Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy." Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave." Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions. When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bit ches would keep their mouths shut!" The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?" Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
The undertaker called the next of kin to confirm the funeral arrangements desired for the dear departed. As luck would have it the son-in-law who was actually delighted to be red of the old battle-ax answered the phone.
“We’re sorry to disturb you in this time of personal grief,” the undertaker uttered solemnly, “but appears to be some confusion as to whether the body of the loved one is to be buried or cremated.”
“Let’s not take any chances,” “Do both” said the son-in-law.
We need sleep!
By Cathryn Conroy, Netscape News Editor
...you could be sleep deprived and putting yourself at risk for an early death. That stunning conclusion was reached by researchers at Penn State College of Medicine, who determined that when we get just six hours of sleep a night, we are actually sleep deprived. And sleep deprivation not only makes us sleepy during the day and decreases our productivity and performance levels, but also promotes the potentially dangerous process of inflammation. Inflammation of this sort can lead to a variety of problems, including heart disease and hardening of the arteries, reports WebMD.
Previous studies have examined the effects of severe sleep deprivation, which is five hours or less of sleep. This one looked at the effects of modest sleep restriction, something that many people live with day in and day out in order to meet the pressing demands of work and family. The levels of inflammatory factors skyrocketed in the 25 study volunteers--who spent 12 consecutive nights in a sleep laboratory--when they had just six hours of sleep, compared with eight hours. So when you pass up sleep to watch more television, talk to your spouse, or clean the house, you are putting yourself at risk for cardiovascular disease and osteoporosis.
Love is like the perfect Rubix Cube. There are countless number of wrong twists and turns, but when you get it right, it looks perfect no matter what way you look at it.
Brian Cramer
+ General JokeObama is proud of his Cash for Clunkers program. It basically let you sell your car to the government for gas money. Now there is talk in Congress about bringing it back as an add on to their univeral healthcare plan and expanding it. With thatin mind, let's take a look at how the Obama Clunker program might work on its next go round. Signs of an Obama Clunker • You have to reset the car clock after you use the cigarette lighter. • You just roll down the car windows for air conditioning. • You go to Coin Star so you can make your car and insurance payments. • You start using the phrase "General Motors" as a curse. • You start referring to GM as Government Motors. • You keep emergency sneakers in the car trunk for those inevitable walks home. • Your Obama clunker appears on the TV series Operation Repo, with a recurring role. • You had to cut the Club the Obama clunker came with off of the steering wheel. • You have to read map directions using the car's Check Engine light. • You spot tow trucks following your Obama clunker on the highway. • You double your car's Blue Book value whenever you fill the gas tank. • Your car insurance policy requires that you wear a helmet while driving. • You always carry duct tape in the car's glove compartment. • You have a bumper sticker for the local homeless shelter. • Your car radio only gets National Public Radio. • When hitchhikers see you, they put their thumbs down. • If you try to donate your car to charity, they give it right back. • Your car was featured on the cover of Lemon Law Magazine. • If they can't repair your clunker's brakes, they'll make your horn louder. • The tires keep getting rotated until they're back where they started. • You'll have to buy your car insurance from the federal government. • But your Obama auto insurance will cover you in all 57 states. • Your automobile insurance won't cover the types of accidents you're most likely to have.
Become
What we think, we become. --Buddha
The judge warned the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?” “I do.”
“Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?”
“Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really know what perect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
Mark Twain
Take your Vitamins
Taking a multivitamin daily could help slow arterial aging. Both vitamin C and vitamin E appear to be important to the health of your arteries. Studies show that adequate intakes of these antioxidant vitamins are associated with a significant reduction of arterial disease. Try to get about 400 IU of vitamin E per day and about 1,200 milligrams of vitamin C per day through food and vitamin supplements.
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m just wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “I can’t read, I can’t write and they won’t let me talk!”
The future belongs to the risk takers, not the security seekers. The more you seek security, the less of it you will have and the more you pursue opportunity, the more security you will achieve.
Brian Tracy
Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.-Karl Marx
“Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.” “How long have you had this feeling?”
“Ever since I was a kid.”
Keep on fighting the good fight!
It is better to have fought and lost.... than to not fight at all!
Good luck on the business battlefield!!!
General JokeA little late, but you get the gist.. Break out the whiskey and shot glasses -- it's time for President Obama's first official State of the Union Address. As you know, the Constitution requires that from time to time, the president shall give to the Congress information on the State of the Union, which is bestdigested by the citizenry while completely hammered. Thus...Joe Wilson yells something - Do two shotsObama yells back - Finish the bottle Obama says "jobs" - Do one shot, two if you're unemployedObama says "health care" - Do not drink, you will not be given a replacement liverNancy Pelosi claps like a seal - Do one shotNancy Pelosi becomes a seal - STOP DRINKING FOR THE LOVE OF GODObama mentions Bo - Put beer in your dog's water bowlObama uses the term "Congressional leadership" - Do two shotscarefully as all that laughing will make it difficult to swallowObama says he's "fighting for you" - Do one shot, two if you believe him
Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said one, “but I could never do anything with it.” “Too much fancy work in it, eh?” asked the other. “You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way – Take a clean dish.”
Dealing with Envy
Men never throw sticks at trees that do not have fruit on them
- Old Chinese Proverb -
A man gets pulled over by the police for speeding. The cop walks up to the car and says to the driver, “Sir, did you know that you were going 60 miles an hour?" The driver says, "Officer, there is no way I could have been going 60 miles an hour!" The cop says, “Really! Why is that? The driver replies," I could not have been going 60 miles an hour because I've only been out driving for 25 minutes."
Our Children Are Watching
You're teaching a lesson each day that you live;
Your actions are blazing a trail
That children will follow for good or for ill;
You can help them or cause them to fail.
- Bosch -
The very essence of leadership is that you have to have vision. You can't blow an uncertain trumpet.
Theodore M. Hesburgh
General JokeLarry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Larry looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Larry asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Larry asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!"
A first grade teacher was looking at her students as they were trying out their desk computers. One boy was staring at the screen, looking dumbstruck and confused. The teacher came and read what was on the screen and in her most reassuring voice said, “The computer wants to know what your name is."
The boy then leaned over and whispered, “My name is David."
Honor
No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge
If you don't like something change it.
If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Don't complain.
Maya Angelou
was going to tell you the joke about the pencil, but there's really no point to it.
On no account brood over your wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.
Aldous Huxley
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success.-Ralph Waldo Emerson RIP Dr. Harold Fink 1918-2010 Memorial Service 12:30 pm Weds. The Plaza 630 Amsterdam Ave (91st).
Over a remote Scottish island a helicopter lost power and was forced to make an emergency landing. Luckily there was a small cottage nearby. The pilot walked over to it and knocked on the door. “Is there a mechanic in the area?” he asked the woman who answered the door. She scratched her head and thought for a few seconds. “No,” she finally said, pointing down the road, “but we do have a McArdle and a McKay.”
Antioxidant rich spice
Another herb that is antioxidant-rich is rosemary. According to research, rosemary contains powerful antioxidants that may help to inhibit free radical damage to cells. Rosemary was been revealed to have even greater health benefits than paprika. Using rosemary to season fish, vegetables, egg-white omelets, and salads will give your system an antioxidant boost.
If you treat an individual ... as if he were what he ought to be, and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
The economy is getting so bad; the other day my ATM gave me an IOU.
Continuing Education
Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence.
Abigail Adams, 1780
Three young boys were boasting about their grandpas. The first boy said: "My grandpa is a great swimmer. He can swim for hours before getting out of the water!" The second boy said, "That's nothing. My grandpa always goes swimming at 6:00 in the morning every day, and only comes back at 9:00 pm because my mom says he has to!" The third boy says, "Your grandpas are both bad at swimming! My grandpa started swimming in this pond 20 years ago, and he hasn't come out since!!!"
Free thought
Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
--Tom Robbins
Mo attends to a revival and listens to the sermon. After a while, the pastor asks anyone with needs to come forward and be prayed over. Mo gets in line and, when it’s his turn the pastor asks, “Mo, what do you want me to pray about?” Mo says, “Pastor, I need you to pray for my hearing.” So the pastor puts one finger in Mo’s ear and the other hand on top of his head and prays for a while. He removes his hands and says, “Mo how’s your hearing now?” Mo says, “I don’t know pastor, it’s not until next Monday.
Cranking Down the Volume
Playing your tunes more softly during rush hour traffic might decrease your tension in the car. Cranking up the volume of your music may increase your tension while driving. A recent study showed that college students listening to three different amplitudes of music were more likely to have higher heart rates the higher the volume went and vice versa for lowering the volume. Hence, softly played music may sooth the savage beast during rush hour madness.
A man receives a call from his Credit Card Company, “Sir, we have detected an unusual pattern of spending on your card, and we are calling to see if everything is alright.”
“Yes,” replied the man. “My card was stolen over a month ago.” “Why didn’t you report your card as stolen?” asked the card company representative. The man replied, “Well, whoever stole my card is spending a lot less than my wife!”
The castles of our life
"Life can be like those castles that were once thought impenetrable. No matter how hard it may seem, no matter what the odds are, you can always over come it."
Brian Cramer
+ General JokeObama is proud of his Cash for Clunkers program. It basically let you sell your car to the government for gas money. Now there is talk in Congress about bringing it back as an add on to their univeral healthcare plan and expanding it. With thatin mind, let's take a look at how the Obama Clunker program might work on its next go round. Signs of an Obama Clunker • You have to reset the car clock after you use the cigarette lighter. • You just roll down the car windows for air conditioning. • You go to Coin Star so you can make your car and insurance payments. • You start using the phrase "General Motors" as a curse. • You start referring to GM as Government Motors. • You keep emergency sneakers in the car trunk for those inevitable walks home. • Your Obama clunker appears on the TV series Operation Repo, with a recurring role. • You had to cut the Club the Obama clunker came with off of the steering wheel. • You have to read map directions using the car's Check Engine light. • You spot tow trucks following your Obama clunker on the highway. • You double your car's Blue Book value whenever you fill the gas tank. • Your car insurance policy requires that you wear a helmet while driving. • You always carry duct tape in the car's glove compartment. • You have a bumper sticker for the local homeless shelter. • Your car radio only gets National Public Radio. • When hitchhikers see you, they put their thumbs down. • If you try to donate your car to charity, they give it right back. • Your car was featured on the cover of Lemon Law Magazine. • If they can't repair your clunker's brakes, they'll make your horn louder. • The tires keep getting rotated until they're back where they started. • You'll have to buy your car insurance from the federal government. • But your Obama auto insurance will cover you in all 57 states. • Your automobile insurance won't cover the types of accidents you're most likely to have.
Become
What we think, we become. --Buddha
The judge warned the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?” “I do.”
“Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?”
“Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really know what perect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
Mark Twain
Take your Vitamins
Taking a multivitamin daily could help slow arterial aging. Both vitamin C and vitamin E appear to be important to the health of your arteries. Studies show that adequate intakes of these antioxidant vitamins are associated with a significant reduction of arterial disease. Try to get about 400 IU of vitamin E per day and about 1,200 milligrams of vitamin C per day through food and vitamin supplements.
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m just wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “I can’t read, I can’t write and they won’t let me talk!”
The future belongs to the risk takers, not the security seekers. The more you seek security, the less of it you will have and the more you pursue opportunity, the more security you will achieve.
Brian Tracy
Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.-Karl Marx
“Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.” “How long have you had this feeling?”
“Ever since I was a kid.”
Keep on fighting the good fight!
It is better to have fought and lost.... than to not fight at all!
Good luck on the business battlefield!!!
General JokeA little late, but you get the gist.. Break out the whiskey and shot glasses -- it's time for President Obama's first official State of the Union Address. As you know, the Constitution requires that from time to time, the president shall give to the Congress information on the State of the Union, which is bestdigested by the citizenry while completely hammered. Thus...Joe Wilson yells something - Do two shotsObama yells back - Finish the bottle Obama says "jobs" - Do one shot, two if you're unemployedObama says "health care" - Do not drink, you will not be given a replacement liverNancy Pelosi claps like a seal - Do one shotNancy Pelosi becomes a seal - STOP DRINKING FOR THE LOVE OF GODObama mentions Bo - Put beer in your dog's water bowlObama uses the term "Congressional leadership" - Do two shotscarefully as all that laughing will make it difficult to swallowObama says he's "fighting for you" - Do one shot, two if you believe him
Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said one, “but I could never do anything with it.” “Too much fancy work in it, eh?” asked the other. “You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way – Take a clean dish.”
Dealing with Envy
Men never throw sticks at trees that do not have fruit on them
- Old Chinese Proverb -
A man gets pulled over by the police for speeding. The cop walks up to the car and says to the driver, “Sir, did you know that you were going 60 miles an hour?" The driver says, "Officer, there is no way I could have been going 60 miles an hour!" The cop says, “Really! Why is that? The driver replies," I could not have been going 60 miles an hour because I've only been out driving for 25 minutes."
Our Children Are Watching
You're teaching a lesson each day that you live;
Your actions are blazing a trail
That children will follow for good or for ill;
You can help them or cause them to fail.
- Bosch -
The very essence of leadership is that you have to have vision. You can't blow an uncertain trumpet.
Theodore M. Hesburgh
General JokeLarry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Larry looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Larry asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Larry asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!"
A first grade teacher was looking at her students as they were trying out their desk computers. One boy was staring at the screen, looking dumbstruck and confused. The teacher came and read what was on the screen and in her most reassuring voice said, “The computer wants to know what your name is."
The boy then leaned over and whispered, “My name is David."
Honor
No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge
If you don't like something change it.
If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Don't complain.
Maya Angelou
was going to tell you the joke about the pencil, but there's really no point to it.
On no account brood over your wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.
Aldous Huxley
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success.-Ralph Waldo Emerson RIP Dr. Harold Fink 1918-2010 Memorial Service 12:30 pm Weds. The Plaza 630 Amsterdam Ave (91st).
Over a remote Scottish island a helicopter lost power and was forced to make an emergency landing. Luckily there was a small cottage nearby. The pilot walked over to it and knocked on the door. “Is there a mechanic in the area?” he asked the woman who answered the door. She scratched her head and thought for a few seconds. “No,” she finally said, pointing down the road, “but we do have a McArdle and a McKay.”
Antioxidant rich spice
Another herb that is antioxidant-rich is rosemary. According to research, rosemary contains powerful antioxidants that may help to inhibit free radical damage to cells. Rosemary was been revealed to have even greater health benefits than paprika. Using rosemary to season fish, vegetables, egg-white omelets, and salads will give your system an antioxidant boost.
If you treat an individual ... as if he were what he ought to be, and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
The economy is getting so bad; the other day my ATM gave me an IOU.
Continuing Education
Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence.
Abigail Adams, 1780
Three young boys were boasting about their grandpas. The first boy said: "My grandpa is a great swimmer. He can swim for hours before getting out of the water!" The second boy said, "That's nothing. My grandpa always goes swimming at 6:00 in the morning every day, and only comes back at 9:00 pm because my mom says he has to!" The third boy says, "Your grandpas are both bad at swimming! My grandpa started swimming in this pond 20 years ago, and he hasn't come out since!!!"
Free thought
Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
--Tom Robbins
Mo attends to a revival and listens to the sermon. After a while, the pastor asks anyone with needs to come forward and be prayed over. Mo gets in line and, when it’s his turn the pastor asks, “Mo, what do you want me to pray about?” Mo says, “Pastor, I need you to pray for my hearing.” So the pastor puts one finger in Mo’s ear and the other hand on top of his head and prays for a while. He removes his hands and says, “Mo how’s your hearing now?” Mo says, “I don’t know pastor, it’s not until next Monday.
Cranking Down the Volume
Playing your tunes more softly during rush hour traffic might decrease your tension in the car. Cranking up the volume of your music may increase your tension while driving. A recent study showed that college students listening to three different amplitudes of music were more likely to have higher heart rates the higher the volume went and vice versa for lowering the volume. Hence, softly played music may sooth the savage beast during rush hour madness.
A man receives a call from his Credit Card Company, “Sir, we have detected an unusual pattern of spending on your card, and we are calling to see if everything is alright.”
“Yes,” replied the man. “My card was stolen over a month ago.” “Why didn’t you report your card as stolen?” asked the card company representative. The man replied, “Well, whoever stole my card is spending a lot less than my wife!”
The castles of our life
"Life can be like those castles that were once thought impenetrable. No matter how hard it may seem, no matter what the odds are, you can always over come it."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
