He'll cry over your wounds so he can get salt in them.
He heats the knives so his family won't use too much butter.
The next time you'll meet anyone like him, it will have to be In a Nightmare.
He got his parents a fifty-piece dinner set for their Golden Anniversary a box of toothpicks.
He told his children Santa Claus is too old to get around any more.
He takes sparrows, dips them in peroxide, and sells them as canaries.
He'll throw a drowning man both ends of a rope.
The last place he lived in, he campaigned for dry law, got it passed and then moved away.
If you kicked him in his heart, you'd break your toe.
He has lots of fortitude. He'll stand for nearly anything, but a woman on a train.
The only way he can hear any good about himself is to talk to himself.
Every time a report comes about the dangers of second-hand cigarette smoke, he goes around blowing smoke in people’s faces.
He's suffering from hardening of the hearteries.
His motto is ‘A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH', but expects yours to have gold in it.
He folds his newspaper so the guy next to him in the bus can only read half the newspaper.
You could not warm up to him if you were cremated together.
Lots of people would love working for him - if they were graver diggers.
He'd steal a dead fly from a blind spider.