You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Christopher Columbus

Guidance Counselor: " Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

Student: " In a mirror...duh."

LIGHT THE LIGHT FOR OTHERS
When you see no light at the end of the tunnel, make one at your end for those that wish to enter from the other side.

I am responsible.

Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life.

Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life.

I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself.


Walter Anderson

The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.-Katharine Whitehorn

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.

“What are those knives doing in your car? Asked the officer.

“I use them in my juggling act,” says the juggler.

“Oh yeah?” “Let’s see you do it.” Says the policeman.

So the man starts tossing and juggling the knives.

A guy driving by sees this and says, “Wow, am I glad I stopped

Drinking. Look at the test they’re making you do now!”


Love tips
Gravitation cannot be held responsible

for people falling in love

- Albert Einstein -

The future is not some place we are going to but one we are creating. The paths to it are not found but made.

John Schaar


Rusted Metal Furniture
Rusted metal furniture can be made like new by rubbing it down with turpentine.

Don't Be All Alone
When consideration ceases to be two-way deal, one may start playing solitaire.

Four animals a Snake, a Cock, a Cat and a Centipede, all heavy smokers, were playing cards together. When the cigarettes run out, the snake, the big brother, said, "Cock, go out and get some packs! You know, I have NO legs." "But why me?" said the Cock, "I have only TWO legs!" So, the task fell on Centipede with no doubt. Centipede said nothing and left the room.

The left three waited and waited, but Centipede did not show up. One hour later, they couldn't wait anymore. "What's the devil Centipede doing?" Snake said impatiently, "Cat, go out and take a look!"

When Cat gets to the door, he got frightened. Centipede was SITTING there!!!! So the angry Cat said, "What are you doing here?"

"Can't you see? I'm putting on my shoes,” said Centipede.

A doctor traveling by car along a country road collides with an attorney who happens to be driving in the opposite direction. The attorney, seeing that the doctor is a bit shaken up, helps him from the car and offers him a drink of Scotch from his hip flask. The doctor accepts, took a long drink and hands the flask back to the attorney, who closes it and puts it away. "Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asks the doctor.

The attorney replies, "Sure — as soon as the police leave."


Humble Pie
Those who always expect to eat humble pie. Don't know what the true sweetness of humbleness means!

A man walks into a doctor’s office with a stick of celery in one ear, a carrot in the other and a grape up his nose. Confused, the man asks: "Doctor what's wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and replies: "You're not eating properly!"

Nobodys perfect
"I don't want to be a sex symbol. I would rather be a symbol of a woman, a woman who makes mistakes, perhaps, but a woman who loves."

If you're still hanging onto a dead dream of yesterday, laying flowers on its grave by the hour, you cannot be planting the seeds for a new dream to grow today.

Joyce Chapman

You know you're really drunk if you can't lie on the floor without holding on.

History Lesson
Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

--Leo Tolstoy

One's objective should be to get it right, get it quick, get it out, and get it over. You see, your problem won't improve with age.

Warren Buffett


+ General JokePresident Obama and his family went to see the movie “Avatar” in 3-D on New Year’s Eve. I guess Obama wants to know what it’s like for something with a really expensive budget to actually have success. At a cost of $500M, James Cameron's Avatar garnered only three minor awards. It's the costliest project to produce such little results since the Obama stimulus package.

An Antartian named Babbette finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Babbette again prays..."God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and Babbette still has no luck.

Once again, she prays..."My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Babbette is confronted by the voice of God Himself: "Babbette, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket."

your sweet tooth may not be as bad as you think
Craving chocolate? Have some dark chocolate! Recent research has shown that moderate consumption of dark chocolate may be good for your heart. Supplementing the average American diet with 1/2 an ounce of dark chocolate has shown to have a healthy effect on blood cholesterol levels. So, go ahead and indulge!

You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.

R. Buckminster Fuller

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.-Sir Winston Churchill

During a terrible storm, all the highway signs were covered with snow. The following spring, the state decided to raise all the signs twelve inches at a cost of six million dollars. “That’s an outrageous price!” said a local farmer, “but I guess we’re lucky the state handled it instead of the federal government.” “Why’s that?”

“Because knowing the federal government, they’d decided to lower the highways.”

What I Have


“Don’t spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, but remember that what you have now was once among the tings you hoped for”


We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light, which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.


Woodrow T. Wilson

about 3:30 in the morning, a wife wakes up to find she is alone in the bed and she can hear her husband crying uncontrollably. She gets up and starts to look for him. He's not in the bathroom, living room, or in the kitchen. As she passes the laundry room, she hears his faint sniffels coming from the basement. She turns on the light and goes downstairs to find him. Finally, she finds him huddled in the corner, rolled up into a ball, and crying hysterically. She runs over to him and asks why he is crying. He says, "Do you remember when we got married twenty (20) years ago?" She looks at him and says, "yes". He says, "well, a couple of months before, your dad said that I could marry you or go to jail." She says, "I already know that. I don't see what the problem is." He says, " don't you see!!! I would have gotten out today!"

Ball point ink out
Ever have a pen leak in your pants/shirt pockets? Well I have and it's not pretty,

just use hairspray, wash by hand, if it doesn't work the first time, the second time it will come right out...

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is that considered a hostage crisis?

When you are feeling down


1. If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.

2. The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.

3. Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.

4. The best vitamin for making friends....B1.

5. The 10 commandments are not multiple choices.

6. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

7. Minds are like parachutes...they function only when open.

8. Ideas won't work unless YOU do.

9. One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

10. One who lacks the courage to start has already finished.

11. The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.

12. Don't learn safety rules by accident.

13. We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.

14. Jumping to conclusions can be bad exercise.

15. A turtle makes progress when it sticks its head out.

16. One thing you can give and still keep ...is your word.

17. A friend walks in when everyone else walks out.

18. The pursuit of happiness is: the chase of a lifetime!

- JWD -