The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.

Napoleon Hill

Officer: Do you know why I stopped you, son?

Driver: Cause you thought I had some doughnuts?

The mystery of death
Death is something that can't be explained. We are each owed a death, at

which time it will come or where is a mystery. Live each day as if it were

your last. Make amends with those you crossed or who crossed you. Tell

that special one in your life that you love them. Smile at passers by.

Help someone in need.

+ General JokeNow that Vancouver has opened the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!! These questions about Canada were posted on an International tourism Website. Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden) A: So its true what they say about Swedes. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed beaver. (Italy) A: Let's not touch this one. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton, and Halifax? (UK) A: We still use Beaver pelts. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North. Oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked. Q: Which direction is north in Canada? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

A farmer walks into a lawyer's office and says: "I'd like to get one of them-thar day-vorce-ees" "Yes sir, I believe I can help you" replied the lawyer. "Do you have any grounds?" "Oh shore do!", exclaimed the farmer, "Got me bout a 140 acres out back a the house thar." "No no..., I mean do you have a case?" asked the lawyer. "No sur," replied the farmer, "I drive one of them John Deer's" "You don't understand," said the lawyer, "You need something like a grudge." "Oh!!" said the farmer, "I got me one of those! That's what I park muh Deer in!" The lawyer, a bit frustrated responded, "Sir, you've got to have a reason to divorce your wife. Does she beat you up or anything?" "No sur", replied the farmer, "I purt near get outta bed afore her ever mornin." Finally the exasperated lawyer shouted, "WHY do you want a divorce?" "Oh, well..." replied the farmer, "She says we jus can't communicate!!"

Three Enemies
There are three enemies of personal peace regret over yesterday's mistakes, anxiety over tomorrow’s problems and ingratitude for today's blessing.

n: Excuse me Miss, but were you born in Tennessee?

Woman: No, why?

Man: Because your the only ten-I-see!

Customer Service
Customer service is not a cost

-it is an Investment (said by John Frazer-Robinson)

A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had hit virtually head-on.

One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating, "He wouldn't let me have my half of the road!"

After gathering as much information as possible, he angrily approached the other driver, who was examining his own damage. The police officer asked, "That old lady says that you wouldn't let her have her half of the road. Why not?

In exasperation, the man turns from his smashed car and says, "Officer, I would have been HAPPY to give her half of the road --- if she had just let me know WHICH half she wanted!!!!"

Laughter is indeed the best medicine
The old adage has been backed up by a recent study. Findings show that people with a good sense of humor and a propensity to laugh may be less likely to develop heart disease when compared to aggressive, antisocial personalities.

So go ahead, laugh and make others laugh.

A psychiatrist's secretary walks into his study and says,

"There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you.

Claims he's invisible."

The psychiatrist responds, "Tell him I can't see him."

Don't Fret
From the very moment we were born, we were dying. So why sweat the small stuff? Learn to accept things for face value and enjoy life. Cherish every moment as though it were your last because this is your last time you will see today.

One day while at her job as a bank loan officer, Patty Black, had a frog hop onto her desk and say, "I would like to apply for a lily-pad improvement loan." Patty looked incredulously at the frog and said, "I'm sorry, we don't loan money to frogs." To which the frog replied, "I have collateral," as he handed her a small ceramic trinket. Not wanting to be impolite, Patty said, "I don't know. I'll have to talk to the bank manager."

She walked back to the manager's office and said, "There is a frog out here, asking for a lily-pad improvement loan, and this trinket is all he has for collateral." The bank manager picked up the trinket and looked at it carefully. Then smiling he turned to Patty and said, "Why it's a knick-knack, Patty Black. Give the frog a loan."


Take the furture head on. And do it with a smile. : )
"Everything happens for a reason, don't worry about the reason just live with what happens"

Success comes from taking the initiative and following up ... persisting ... eloquently expressing the depth of your love. What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life?

Anthony Robbins

Sally was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 5-year-old daughter to answer the phone. “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”


Gossip
There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us. That it hardly behooves any of us, to talk about the rest of us.

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spirtual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.

Denis Waitley

While visiting a friend in the hospital a young man noticed several pretty nurses, each one of them was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asked one of them. “Oh! Nothing,” she said with a chuckle. “We just use it to keep the doctors away.”

Asking
A person who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; a person who never asks is a fool forever.

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.
Victor Hugo