+ General JokeCharles Barkley is griping about the fact that Tiger Woods isn't answering his phone to accept help from fellow celebrities on dealing with his problems. Sir Charles also offered up tips to Tiger to improve his golf swing, and will share some sure fire methods to beat the house in Vegas.

A woman sent her son to get a tin of beans from the store. The boy went and found nobody at the store except the shopkeeper who was up the ladder filling up his shelves.

'Give me a tin of beans for my mother,' said the boy.

The keeper, from up there told him: 'Wait in the line.'

The boy looked around and saw nobody so he said again:

'Give me a tin of beans for my mum.'

The keeper said again: 'I told wait for your turn.'

The boy asked for the third time for the tin of beans.

'Can you see how many people there are before you? I said wait for your turn!'

The boy, who realizes he was being taken for ride, reached for a tin of peas from the lowest shelf and through it at the shopkeeper, hitting him in his forehead.

The Shopkeeper came down bleeding all over and said to the boy:

'See what you have done? You broke my head.'

'Good grief, of all these people you picked up on me?' said the boy and ran away home.

Try Harder
How many times, as a manager, have you said to your staff, "We have to try harder!" Could we be trying too hard? If you try too hard for something it may lead to the following problems: working harder instead of smarter, unimaginative problem solving, unrealistic goals, self-defeating attitude, and being too critical on yourself. Sometimes trying too hard back fires, because of the unwanted stress created by the above terminology of trying harder. Instead of trying harder, next time try on working smarter.

Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention.

Jim Rohn

A woman rushes into a hardware store and said, “Can I have a muse trap, please? And will you be quick – I’ve a bus to catch.”

“Sorry, ma’am,” said the assistant, “we don’t sell ‘em that big!”

A Mother's love
A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.

- Washington Irving

+ General JokeApparently, the sign (meaning "Work will make you free") from above the gateway to Auschwitz camp has been stolen. Now, I'm not going to suggest that I have anything but disgust for either the regime that organized this camp or the people who stole the sign. The comments of the museum staff, however, beggar belief- they consider that the sign would be "difficult to sell!" So I suppose we can look forward to seeing it on ebay tomorrow!