Miscellaneous Jokes :: #17357
By Barb from USA.

The olympian skier Picabo Street now works in the Intensive Care Unit at a hospital. Unfortunately, the administration told her she can no longer answer the phone, because this is what she said, "Picabo ICU" (Peek-a-boo, I see you)

Way to be happy...
"Always remember the compliments you receive and forget the insults"

Patty met Eric and said; that’s a nice suit you are wearing.

Eric: Oh, do you like it?

Patty: Yes, who went for the fitting?

Youth
Youth is wasted on the young

- BERNARD SHAW -

Character isn't something you were born with and can't change, like your fingerprints. It's something you weren't born with and must take responsibility for forming.

Jim Rohn


We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is already disappearing.-R. D. Laing

There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down. “Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We’ll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again”, says the mechanical engineer. “Well”, says the chemical engineer, “it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system.” “I thought it might be a grounding problem”, says the electrical engineer, “or maybe a faulty plug lead.” They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and say: “Well, what do you think?” “Ummm perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?”

Silence
Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. Silence is deep as Eternity; speech is shallow as Time.

--Thomas Carlyle

+ General Joke An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On another wall is a dazzling array of fine cigars and chocolates. Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession. And I must say, the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be." The priest replies: "Get out! You're on my side.