One you can pass around! ~*l*~
A man enters an auto parts store and says “How about a set of windshield wipers for a Yugo?” The Salesman says “Sure, That seems like a pretty fair trade.”
And from the police blotter! A dimwitted duo of burglars thought the laser they had stolen earlier would cut right through the safe of a Maryland grocery store. Maybe they had the wrong setting or maybe the safe was stronger than they had anticipated. When the police arrived, the two were still hunched over the safe, trying to cut through to the money inside. The police confiscated the laser and the two admitted they had stolen it from an amusement center earlier in the day. It was a "Lazer-Tag" gun, a battery operated toy, and the two had been shining it's harmless light on the safe for nearly an hour before the police had arrived.

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity... 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in" 7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy." 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". 16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Devon. 17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!" 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!" 19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Did you know?
$1,000,000 in $1 bills would weigh approximately one ton. Placed in a pile it would be 360ft/110m high - as tall as 60 average adults standing on top of each other.--------------------------------------------------------------------A perfectly clean fire produces almost no smoke. Smoke simply means that a fire is not burning properly and that bits of unburned material are escaping.